14 points

Gotta…push…harder!

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9 points

shits out internal organs

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6 points

Dieticians hate this one easy trick that will have you shedding pounds in an instant!

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13 points

One figure I saw was that the average person produces “one ounce of poop for each 12 pounds of their body weight”, so the bigger you are, the more full of shit you are.

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8 points

Not really. Since you’re larger, your shit as a percentage of body weight doesn’t go up.

Small people are just as full of shit as large people.

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3 points

“28g of poop for each 5.4 kg of their body weight” for the metrically inclined

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2 points

I don’t buy it… maybe as an average

I just started a cutting phase of dieting, 2k calories and I crap way less than when I’m doing a 3K bulk.

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10 points

I just shit on my kitchen scale.

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2 points

Oh word I thought I was the only one.

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7 points

Serious moment here: Due to the medical condition I’m dealing with, I have to weigh myself and record it at least three times a week and yeah, after I shit in the morning (which is basically right after I get up) I do it then. It’s also when my body is most empty, so I try to keep that condition consistent and wait until a little later if I need to.

No, I don’t need this. I just use a regular bathroom scale. But this isn’t as utterly insane as it sounds.

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5 points

But this isn’t as utterly insane as it sounds.

It is not very convenient though, cause you’d have to lift your feet off the ground and hold sit very still for a few seconds to get an accurate measurement. Putting your feet on the ground while sitting would mess up the measurement

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6 points
*

The people who can use this must not be able to reach the floor…

I can’t even get my kitchen scale to read a consistent number when I pick up the thing I’m weighing and set it back down. The shifting weight here between seat and feet would kill any and all usefulness.

Ooh! Maybe you are supposed to do a starfish before and after the dump! (Jazz hands optional)

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I want to see the number go down as the shit leaves my body.

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1 point
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That’s the exact thing that can’t possibly work if you are partially supporting your weight with your feet, that’s the problem. Even standing or sitting totally still, you are constantly adjusting muscles to maintain balance, which would absolutely throw off a scale sensitive enough for the amount you lose taking a dump. And I really think that would be true even if you weren’t touching the floor, simply because scales measure pressure, which can change based on position.

It might work if you shit in the fetal position with your feet and ass on the seat, not moving, with something to support your balance… (the mental image of getting this thing to be useful is giving me the giggles)

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It might work if you shit in the fetal position with your feet and ass on the seat, not moving

I already do this as it is the optimal shitting position.

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