bonus question:
what does it mean to be too online anymore?
They know what Lemmy is.
Sometimes I see people rant about people in a way that makes me believe they rarely interact with anyone face to face. Complete lack of anything positive to say about others, can only discuss topics that mean something to themselves, no ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.
Lemmy, reddit, 4chan… You find them all around. If you ask me, it’s likely caused by childhood isolation. Kids who grow up in a tense environment or with certain disorders tend to be outcasts when growing up and this creates a bitterness towards the world.
It feels unfair that there is a way most people behave towards one another that you can not be a part of. And it’s always easier to blame the environment than to look inward, find out what is causing these feelings and how to combat them. This is easily said when you’re past your 30s, but a 7 year old kid does not have the capacity to do this level of self reflection. So the effects of being an outcast compound. At some point it just becomes easier to direct your anger at faceless strangers and avoid any kind of real social situations. And this, of course, also compounds.
But that’s just my armchair psychology take on it. I have been somewhat of an outcast up until college (although not nearly as bad as some other kids I’ve met). College was an eye-opener for me due to the acceptance and positivity that was around everyone. I noticed quickly that the happiest folks where the ones who spoke mostly of things they liked. It’s a cliche for a reason, but a positive attitude breeds positivity.
I think Lemmy is better about this. Certainly better than Reddit or 4chan. I think because of the small community. There are people itching for a fight or to troll, but by and large I’ve had way more positive interactions here than negative. I think when a community gets sufficiently large, it gets exhausting dealing with so many bitter, damaged people that civility is forgotten or civil members remove themselves as self-care.
I definitely agree with your last point. Everyone is uplifted by positivity.
They spend so much time on Lemmy that they start replying to their own comments.
When they seem to think it’s socially acceptable to scroll while hanging out with other people. I usually give the benefit of the doubt–“oh they’re responding to a text… right? oh damn, they are scrolling? and I’m sitting right here with them?”
If they frequently reference memes IRL, says “lol” with their voice, complain that you don’t answer messages immediately, sit idle in a voice chatroom, notices the the typo, anime profile pic, uses x.com.