A European arrest warrant was issued for a Ukrainian man suspected of involvement in blowing up the Nord Stream pipeline nearly two years ago, Polish prosecutors said on Wednesday.

The sabotage in September 2022 of the Nord Stream pipelines that carried Russian gas to Europe has become one of the central mysteries of the war in Ukraine, prompting extensive finger-pointing and guesswork. But until Wednesday, there were very few answers.

The Polish prosecutors office said it had received the warrant, issued by Germany, in June for a suspect who was living in Poland at the time. The suspect — identified only as Volodymyr Z., in keeping with German privacy laws — left the country before Polish authorities could detain him, according to Anna Adamiak, a spokeswoman for the prosecutor’s office in Warsaw.

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27 points

Volodymyr Z.

Hmm, sounds familiar.

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8 points

“Not me, officer, I’m… Borodymyr Kraszynski.” I’m imagining a huge fake mustache.

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2 points

There appears to be some confusion. Even an entire army got it wrong and went the wrong direction. Z team is supposed to kill P. team.

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12 points
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8 points

Surely, it must be. Not the spy ships Russia has been floating around in NATO waters?

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-15 points
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The most likely culprits are military personnel from the US and Norway, acting on behalf of their countries to damage infrastructure so that their countries can sell their own natural gas to Europe.

Edit: If you believe the US is suddenly above sabotaging another country for its own benefit - something it’s done consistently around the world for 100+ years - then I have a bridge to sell you.

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11 points

The most likely thing is the most complicated option? Got it. Sure buddy.

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9 points

Do one for Putin instead, and you solve the root problem…

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-10 points
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-17 points
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