A mammoth 27 per cent of Britons think that they could qualify for a sport at the next Olympics if they started training today, according to new research by YouGov.
Shooting came out on top as the sport that most people thought they could represent their country in at Los Angeles 2028, no doubt inspired by the memes of Turkish shooter Yusuf Dikec.
He arrived in Paris minus the traditional eye and ear protection and shot his way to a silver medal with one hand in his pocket.
Of those questioned, 15 per cent thought they could qualify in the 10m air rifle event, while 13 per cent fancied their chances in archery.
Most shocking was that six per cent believed they could qualify for the 100m in just four years, and seeing as the qualifying time is 10 seconds for men and 11.07 seconds for women, we should apparently have high hopes for 2028…
At the bottom of the scale, only three per cent of Britons think they could qualify in rhythmic gymnastics, artistic gymnastics, diving, rugby sevens or skateboarding – which is surprising when you consider Team GB’s only entrant in men’s skateboarding at Paris 2024 was 51-year-old Andy Macdonald, who could have inspired a generation.
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Maybe most surprising is that 15 per cent of the over-65s think they could compete at an Olympic level in four years if they put their mind to it.
Firstly 27% of Britons are idiots. Down from 52% a few years ago, but still.
And naturally “The results also show that men are slightly more likely than women (30% vs 25%) to think they could make the Olympic team in 2028”. To be be honest, I was surprised the margin was only 5%.
The hell with the regular games, I’ll buy a front row ticket to watch senior citizens absolutely shatter their bodies trying to qualify for an Olympic event
Olympic Darts!
Olympic Snooker!
- Pint
- Darts
- Pint
- Snooker
- Pint
- Fruit Machine
- Pint
- Chippie
- Pint
- Fight
Competitors are tested at the start to ensure they’ve done some pre-drinking warm-up rounds.
I’ve been training for the British sumo team for years. It’s been a real struggle keeping my weight up, but the phone still hasn’t rung.
Elitist sport bastards!
Look, people are just very confident in their own abilities, at least the Olympics are relatively safe…
I feel people are really underestimating chimpanzees - they will tear your arm off and beat you to death with it.
Not to mention the 8% who think they can fight a Gorilla!
I feel like the 28% who think they will lose a fight with a rat are my kind of people.
Gorillas aren’t as violent and aggressive as chimps - one could do you harm if you aggravated it enough but a chimp would need no such excuse. I’d probably rather fight a gorilla than a goose - they’re mean.