22 points

I think some of you have never been to Walmart and give the employees way too much credit in the intelligence department

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9 points

Do you feel good being so vastly intellectually superior to those dumb fucks serving you? Must be awesome 😊

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0 points
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47 points

I mean it’s more likely that they just don’t give a shit anymore.

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16 points

Yeah, your weird items are probably not even the weirdest the cashier has seen today. And the cashiers are probably barely paying attention to what the items are anyway. They just don’t care. They scan the item, the machine beeps, so they put it on the belt. I bet 90% of the time if you asked a cashier what the last item they scanned was, they wouldn’t have any idea.

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11 points

This is accurate to my experience when I worked at the supermarket.

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6 points

And that’s what I prefer.

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0 points
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9 points

No they’re not. At Tim Horton’s their special branded version are called “Timbits”, but everyone knows the term “doughnut holes” and unless they’re specifically talking about the kind from Tim Horton’s they won’t use that term.

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-5 points
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4 points

Canadian here. You’re a shill.

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8 points

No the fuck I don’t.

-Signed A Canadian.

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3 points

as a brazilian, i have no idea if you’re right.

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4 points

Is it a regional thing? Like Southern US folks calling all fizzy soda pop drinks regardless of brand “Coke”

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26 points

I’m good at this

Alligator clamps
Belt
Laxatives

Shipping boxes
Meat cleaver
Adult diapers

Birth control
Bucket
Bleach

Night vision goggles
Fingerless gloves
Bubble bath

Massager
Leather boots
Farady cage EMP bag

Zip ties
Meat grinder
Swim goggles

Funnel
Butt lifting suit
Rope

Prescription strength deodorant
Dog crate
Sorry for your loss card

Wooden cross
Ammo
Jock strap

Okay, actually it’s just a script I wrote.

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156 points

As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you’re buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.

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102 points

You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you’re cruel.

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55 points

Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.

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15 points

ಠ_ಠ

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻)

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24 points

Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it’s a middle aged person who clearly doesn’t understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you’re on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don’t recognize?

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5 points

A bit less, partly because it’s easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one’s phone, if one can figure out which language it is

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4 points

What aisle has the half-dead old person

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5 points

How make a cashier consider on the job suicide

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16 points

Car battery

Jumper cables

Duct tape

If you get a bonus then bleach, lye, or tarp rounds it out. Have fun talking to the local police!

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22 points

None of this would attract attention, this is what you would buy to work on an old car. You don’t get out much do you? 🤣

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2 points

Went out once to buy movie tickets, get back to the old big screen to experience it properly again. But it was very noisy and busy so it was more than enough with just the one time.

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2 points

What movie? Casablanca?

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3 points

Are you working on the car or doing a patch job until you can work on the car?

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7 points

There’s nothing more permanent than a temporary fix.

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1 point

Depends on whether I’m getting paid fam

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4 points

I’d go for jumpers, tape, and a tarp. Using the car battery makes it seem like your car battery died. Rope would also make it creepy.

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2 points

That’s also all stuff you can use while working on your vehicle.

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3 points

True, zip ties would also fit in that category

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3 points

I can never remember; is it the left or right nipple that goes to battery positive??

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