29 points

Does he even own a Sharpie?

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21 points

Of course he does. How do you think he gets those dreamy eyes?

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6 points

He’s no Anderson Cooper ::swoon::

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10 points

Does eyeliner count?

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1 point

Everyone else can go home. I laughed at this one.

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22 points

Has he ever stared straight into an eclipse? How many nukes would he use to stop a hurricane?

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5 points

Has he ever drunk bleach or shoved a light bulb up his arse?

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11 points

Pretty sure the reason Hannibal even gets brought up is because Putin mentioned him to Trump…except Putin likely meant this guy https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannibal

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6 points

I always assumed it was because he didn’t know what “speaking asylum” was and assumed it meant “insane asylum”

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11 points

I presume it’s a reference to some GOP statement? Could anyone link the original?

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17 points
*

Twermp:

“Has anyone ever seen ‘The Silence of the Lambs’? The late, great Hannibal Lecter. He’s a wonderful man. He oftentimes would have a friend for dinner. Remember the last scene? ‘Excuse me, I’m about to have a friend for dinner,’ as this poor doctor walked by. ‘I’m about to have a friend for dinner.’ But Hannibal Lecter. Congratulations. The late, great Hannibal Lecter”

Also Tramp:

“If I’m in a boat and it’s all-electric and it starts to sink… I asked the guy do you get electrocuted sitting over this? And then I say - and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this because it’s an analogy - if there’s a shark about 10 yards away, 'do I get electrocuted or do I go with the shark? ’ I would take electrocution all day long”

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8 points

It’s about as coherent as the Having Nuclear speech.

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10 points

i haven’t read any of these before, so here is the “having nuclear” gobbledygook for the curious:

“Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible.”

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6 points

It’s reference to fact that they are trying to keep Trump behind JD to make look like Harris is running against a younger candidate instead of the racist, dementia riddled old man.

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6 points

And what’s his position on furniture assault?

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