I try to read all the articles I post but for this one I noped out after 1 sentence. Enjoy!

100 points
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12 points

When I didn’t see The Onion as the source, it just wouldn’t compute for a minute. I did a double-take.

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51 points

I pictured his bowels flying out of his nose and mouth. Makes sense what happened to the poor guy.

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36 points

Same. Popping open an incision is somehow a relief compared to what I was picturing.

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9 points
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Honestly, a part of me was a bit disappointed that’s not what it was. I was so invested and curious to learn why that could even happen, only to find it didn’t.

Glad he’s ok-ish, though.

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11 points

Yeah. I don’t want to say I’m disappointed, because that would suck even more for the guy, but I will say I’m a little underwhelmed.

Also, what’s with that insane autoplay video in the article using stock video footage to tell the story? Have we sunk so low?

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48 points

The headline makes it sound way worse than what happened. Dude is fine, just reopened a surgical wound with some bulging.

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38 points

The headline sounds like he blew his guts out of his nose.

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8 points

See, I pictured out he blew out his poop chute

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5 points

That would be hilarious to see. Vomit-inducing and nightmarish, but hilarious.

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3 points

Yep that’s some title gore… I was trying to figure out how the hell that could even happen…

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32 points
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14 points

Nope, I can’t hear you plugs ears

I’m just a bit too squeamish for the details

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8 points
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23 points

Hate when that happens

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24 points

Basically doctors fucked up and removed staples too soon. They did this to my ex after our second son was born. Took the staples out and she almost died from sepsis.

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