Let’s hear some stories from the thready-verse about how you guys met your significant other.
For me it was during the first year of COVID, my company asked who from Europe (I was living in Sweden) wanted to go for a three month business trip to coach a big Korean automotive supplier on how to do modern software development. Most of the other people had families and especially during COVID nobody wanted to travel. I said I could do it, even though I never coached before. But because nobody else volunteered they sent me and and another guy who also was single without a family, etc.
I was convinced that the other guy would have good game with the women here, and thought that there is no harm in installing some international dating app and to try my own luck. During COVID I just lost a ton of weight and found new confidence and it was far away from home and what happens in Korea stays in Korea and so on :D
Anyway, to my surprise during the first two weeks I got some matches and I hit it off with one of them. We met and started dating and very quickly fell for each other. Then when the 3 months were over, I asked the company if the customer would still have some use for my skills and they said yes and send me for 3 more months. I had to go back to Sweden to get a new Visa and spent another 2 weeks in quarantine (as the first time). But then the second tree months were over too and I asked again for more. By that time I was really sick of all the time in quarantine and asked if they could move me from the Swedish office to the Korean office and they agreed.
I went back to Sweden, threw away most of my stuff and put the most valuable things up on a friends attic and moved to Korea with one suitcase. I stayed at AirBnB’s for two more months and then we found an apartment and moved in together.
She has a daughter from a previous marriage and we now have a 1.5 year old son together and we still live in Korea :D
Church.
Reading all these stories make me really depressed. Some people are cursed to be alone. Not gonna lie I’m bitter that y’all are doing well, actually angry.
We’re alone together!
Seriously though I’m coming up on a decade since my last real relationship.
I’m an absolute worthless pile of unredeemable garbage though so it’s really no wonder lol women are smart to pick literally anyone else.
That saidddddd, people generally don’t like our kind of comment in a place like this because this thread is about other people’s success/happiness. They don’t like to see others make it “all about them” and be upset seeing others success.
I’ve never had ANYTHING and I’m old enough to have teenagers as my sons/daughters. Even you are living the life better man… You said that but, If I can’t even be upset about their success and my suffering, then what remains? Just crawl and die in silence?
If I can’t even be upset about their success and my suffering, then what remains? Just crawl and die in silence?
It’s not about never expressing how you feel, I was just saying that this specific thread probably isn’t the place to do it as “everyone” is looking to read a happy story. Honestly I came here looking to see if there were any comments like yours because I share that pain too. I may have had a small handful of relationships in my late teens and early 20s but I was always left or cheated on. I’m not sure that’s much better than not having anything at all, I feel completely worthless as well.
I see you weren’t downvoted much at all though so that’s good, but whenever this kind of thing would come up on Reddit people would usually dogpile on the person who expressed frustration with some form of “it’s not about you” so I’ve come to assume that is how people think about these kinds of threads and was just looking out for you. I’m glad people are better about it here though.
Or look at it like: these stories are mostly unique, that’s because a lot of it is just the luck of meeting the right person. What does help your chances the most though is putting yourself in as many situations where you can meet people, so the dice rolls are more frequent.
I don’t have a dice. I mean cmon these people here are doing basically nothing “I was playing a videogame, got lucky, my cat made us met, a bus stop” Like, I’ve been in majority of those situations during my 35 years of life and NOTHING happened. Or what, is really mandatory to go to high school/college to get some? Because I never went there.
Not yet.
Made a friend in Final Fantasy XIV, which then blossomed into more. She moved across the country to be with me. We are one of those super-affectionate-joined-at-the-hip couples.
These stories of getting laid thanks to videogames seem like fantasy to me (if you’re not lying). I’ve been playing for 25 plus years of my life and still a virgin. I guess I have zero chances in everything.
Finding a partner has two roadblocks.
- Would you date yourself?
- Could you date yourself?
The first asks are you fun to be around? If you were a fly on the wall in your house would you think “this is a person I want to be with, their activities, demeanor, and level of self-care are something I find attractive”. If you don’t want to be with yourself why would anyone else? Work to being and staying a person you enjoy being around.
The second is more applicable to people who are alone and introverted. If you lived two streets over from yourself how could you meet yourself. If you’re not someone that ever interacts with new people then how can you meet anyone? Find ways to open yourself up to meeting people you want to be with and who want to be with you. This could be through hobby based communities, to socializing with classmates and co-workers, to meeting friends of friends, to joining new groups or classes you’re interested in.
No I’m not a fun person. But I can’t erase myself… And trust me I can’t change. I don’t have co workers anymore and only did middle school. Nothing around my minuscule town is for me and I’m an poor immigrant, I have everything against me.
Ok, let me be fair and clarify my FFXIV story. Yes I did meet my SO in a video game, and that all does sound too good to be true. What I left out was the hard work getting myself into in therapy and on a path to meaningfully and deliberately work at being happy. By the time I met my girlfriend, I was already in a much better head space, and I was already trying to put myself out there to actively start dating.
Regarding your other comment about life that doesn’t reproduce being not worth living, I don’t buy that for a second. All life hits a dead end. All will need to contend with The Big Freeze, The Big Rip, or The Big Crunch.
Life is meaningful precisely because it is finite. Infinities are a dime a dozen. And infinities await us all.
In a bar instead of online like NORMAL PEOPLE.
All jokes and sarcasm aside, I met my wife in a bar as her and her friend were trying to avoid a guy who seemed to be bothering them. Offered to buy the all a round of drinks and said we are at a table over in the corner if they wanted to join. My future wife and her friend said yeah lets go the guy had a sour look on his face and said no thanks but I will take the beer.
Had a wonderfully late night talking and laughing with her and fell in love shortly after.
