Ive had a crush on you for a while
Good start
Are you down …
hmm
to get barebacked
aaaand derailed
Hell, even “are you down…” isn’t bad. Suggested finishers:
- …to get coffee?
- …for a movie night?
- …for lunch/dinner?
- …to hang out and chat at the park?
- …to meet at the library for a quick game of Cones of Dunshire?
Basically anything but that.
What about
- …to build my Rivendell Lego set?
- …to play some Goldeneye?
- …to paint my Skaven army?
Who knows? Maybe she’s down…
- …to lay waste to the city of Carthage for the glory of the Empire.
- …to slay King Harold, forever changing the English language.
- …for a brisk walk with the boys to the Atlantic Ocean…but first, a pit stop in Atlanta.
If she says yes to the Skaven it’s your duty as a proud Dawi to crush her skull lest she infiltrates the clan.
I think the best part is that he asked almost like he was making a doctor’s appointment lol “are you available at 3pm on Thursday for some dehumanizing unprotected sex with a smelly neckbeard? No? Would Friday work better?”
You miss 100% of the shots you DO take if your shots are all thrown as hard as possible in the opposite direction of the basket…
Plot twist: she has difficulty with reading comprehension and understanding modern slang. She actually would have been interested in casual unprotected sex with him. But anon stopped reading and didn’t clarify himself.
Alternate plot twist: she really loves horseback riding and always wanted to try riding a horse without a saddle (i.e. “bare back”) but was a little nervous and wanted someone to help her with it. One day, she told herself, she would find the right person to “bareback” with.
Then anon DMs her. “Yes,” she says, “I will bareback with you! meet me at the horse ranch.”
Anon’s like “horse ranch? wtf” but goes for it. The fated hour arrives and anon rolls with it. they all live happily ever after.
Not sure I can believe any of the text because anon wasn’t immediately told to stay the fuck away or worse, and blocked.
She doesnt need to know the exact meaning, “I’m into you and want to do x with/to you” is clear enough that anon has romantic or sexual intent.
That anon got a not utterly revolted response to that hailmary is more an indication that the interest is mutual than not I’d say
>Wanna Get barebacked?
"Fuggin typical femenoids complaining "
MFW
@_@
And a supposed adult at 21…
What went wrong is anon never grew up - he’s still 13
Anon got a reply, thats would have been a good start, but no… He had to be horny brained.
Could in theory be saved later by “Sorry, this message was inappropriate, if it’s any excuse I was drunk when I sent it.” If feeling confident, could be followed by “The part about having a crush on you was true tho.”.
Could be saved by “Yeah, my dog chewed on my phone. He was the one who wrote the text message…”
Probably real and heterosexual
