Do Trump Maga voice.
Our very great, very excellent team collected samples, and might I add these are some of the greatest samples we have ever seen! I went to the russian scientists and they said “mr. trump we have never seen samples these great” such great samples indeed.
Lol… even without mentioning him one can tell it is him saying all that.
I heard Trump say “The russian scientist went wild on the samples.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4WgOPT9TUA
The testing will stop when the samples improve.
In a university there was a lab. And in this lab there lived a postdoc. One day in the third month of their the postdoc heard a rap on their door. It was the professor! They said the postdoc would soon be approached by 12 undergrads, and…
<300 pages of worldbuilding later>
“You must take the samples! And throw them into the synchrotron! I am too old and burnt out to do it!” pleaded the old postdoc to the phd student.
<500 pages of more worldbuilding>
“I did the testing, but the results are not meant for me. I must now travel to the West, into the Private Sector.” said the PhD at their graduation party.
“I did the testing, but the results are not meant for me. I must now travel to the West, into the Private Sector.” said the PhD at their graduation party.
A desolate wasteground of nothingness washed over the land, leaving nothing but apathy and desolation in its wake. The postdoc picked up a fallen fence post and sharpened it into spear. “These are dark times” they whispered, and set off back up the mountain, picking up the charred remains of the bridge to their former lab and pulling on the thin whisps of job strings dangled carelessly at random from the sky, sometimes doing nothing other than pulling the stormy sky down further to the ground.
Now I want everything science related written in conspiracy voice. Then again, with the current US government, that’s how our leaders read them anyway.
I would absolutely be entertained for at least 5 minutes reading a scientific paper written entirely in conspiracy voice.
>be me.
>collect samples.
>do pro testing in the samples.
>get shit results.
Life of a poop scientist
