Hey all, I am locking this post. Here is the bottom line. Blahaj is a trans safe instance. Regardless of your personal opinion on whether a term is gender neutral or not, the moment someone tells you that they are not OK with that term, that should be the end of the debate. This is a good rule not only in Blahaj but in real life. Continuing to argue with someone about what they should or should not accept in this matter is harmful.
Yeah I’m terrible at this. Almost put man in this sentance twice. I don’t stop myself unless explicitly asked as it would be quite patronizing to treat them like they’re somehow different than all the other women I call man or my guy however but when asked it’s hard to stop. I do my best though
I do my best though
That’s all anyone can ask for really! Mistakes happen, I even misgender myself sometimes
Changing behavior, and behavior in language, especially when you have a connection to it from your youth, is really, really hard.
I’ve been transitioning for over a decade, and I still say dude and man and stuff. Verbally and in text.
I know better, it’s just so ingrained in my online wannabe 90s/00s attitude/culture from growing up.
Which is why the outward and vocal resistance to memes trying to change the behaviors and standards is so irritating to me. It isn’t gender neutral, and only exceptions to the rule exist. Maybe if you acquired the terms/phrases in gender neutral contexts is it actually okay, but then THAT conflict of honest perspectives is a different subject, akin to using words like queer, and how they differ between generations.
Like when I was really young, saying things were gay was just a part of language. Teachers would get mad and tell us not to say it, but like… We didn’t hate gay people, we were just ignorant, and thought it was fun trendy language. And I see a lot of that and stuff like that in a lot of people still today. Did using gay just as a synonym for “bad” closet-ify a lot of people? Looking back, ABSOLUTELY, myself included. But I want to believe that most other people ALSO were too ignorant to be knowingly malicious about it and just got caught in a shitty culture, and thankfully that culture has changed today (for most people, I still occasionally run across a dinosaur still calling everything gay and it’s quite a sight to behold, they look straight out of saved by the bell, but 30 years passed and they never stopped smoking).
What I did was a mental find+replace. Find ‘bro,’ replace with ‘friend.’
Me but like with everybody despite my very grown up job and wife
Bruh is just so fun to say okay?
I started to say “that’s a bruh moment” instead of genuinely committing to the “bruh” and it’s made a small difference