Given birth? Battled through school? Fought for yourself or someone else? All women have been warriors, tell us how you have below!
I continue to get up everyday which sure seems like a battle lately.
It really is sometimes, getting up is sometimes a huge accomplishment. You’re doing great doing that, and you’re worth the fight. What’s been going on for you?
Continuing to try and make tomatoes grow. Managed to make homemade stock, but worried canned will taste better and be easier. Planning the very physically demanding task of making and canning candied jalapeños. Overwhelmingly depression with no easy way to find a therapist on my insurance. Something growing in my jaw and insurance and dentists are slow. But we have legal weed so that’s good, I guess.
That’s rough. Depression really is overwhelming, and it’s a lot of effort finding support for it. That amount of effort is hard when you’re feeling so down. You’ve got canned stuff to make which is demanding and jaw troubles as well. It’s a lot to deal with and I get why it’s getting you down
I was diagnosed as neurodiverse a few years ago. When I was young I battled an entire school system that wasn’t designed for me. I had no help, no support and it was awful but given the circumstances I did great! I now often point out to people when they’re showing symptoms of it because it’s so easy to miss.
I’m vulnerable, and I’ve been targeted for bullying a few times. It’s rough and awful but I always get through it.
Any advice for someone questioning whether they are neurotypical or not? I’ve been reading the book Is This Autism? by Donna Henderson, but I still feel there is a lot of ambiguity. I consistently score high enough on the intake questionnaires for diagnosis, and have similar scores to autistic populations, but … I just don’t know. I’m not even sure I would trust an expert if they diagnosed me, though - I feel there is so much room for misinterpretation.
EDIT: Oh, and I meant to add, I’m sorry to hear about your experiences - I would tend to agree you’re a good egg and have done great, so glad you’re here with us and for your perspective and influence 💕 It sounds like you’re a tough cookie, too!
Great question! If you’re questioning it, you’re likely to be autistic. There is room for interpretation, although at the same time there’s lots of small traits that don’t hit the books. When I googled my condition I found a long list of traits and my jaw dropped cos it was me on a page, although people can have a hodge podge of traits and to varying degrees.
I’d say it’s always worth getting an assessment because there’s lots of small things that could make your life far easier. Things like coloured backgrounds, software, tinted glasses can hugely benefit you. It’s hard getting a diagnosis as an adult though.
And thanks that’s very kind ❤️
I think I get stuck with not knowing exactly what is meant by a lot of things, for example a key autistic trait is needing routine and getting upset with breaks in that routine. I sorta hate routine - I don’t like doing the same thing every day, I dread the work week partially because of its routine meetings, etc. I prefer to flit from thing to thing, it sometimes seems almost like a minor ADHD trait, to be honest.
But I have read that “routine” can be interpreted different ways - like, ordering the same meal at a restaurant every time can be considered “routine”, and when I think about that pretty much my whole life I find one dish that I then order every time I go to that restaurant. It’s rare that I order anything but that same dish every time. I wouldn’t be terribly upset if that dish weren’t there, but it would be disorienting.
I also tend to have a kind of rigidity and almost “OCD” like set of behaviors. I get bothered by small things and I am sometimes seen as perfectionistic, highly detail oriented, and compulsive. When I read about OCD it doesn’t seem to describe me that well, but I certainly have some kind of OCD like behaviors. Some of this OCD behavior sometimes come across as getting upset when routine is broken, so I just can’t make sense of any of it.
It sometimes feels like meaning breaks down when interpretation gives room to classify any set of behaviors any way you want - you could say I have OCD, or PTSD, or autism … all from the same behavior. But I doubt the accuracy, then.
Also, I really can’t consider diagnosis - the government is currently targeting autistic individuals. Anti-trans politicians have used the comorbidity of gender dysphoria and autism as a way to deny that autistic individuals genuinely experience gender dysphoria, claiming they are being taken advantage of and groomed - one state even issued an emergency order that would deny gender affirming care to minors and adults who have autism or other mental health issues.
So having an autism diagnosis would be a liability for me, and I don’t know that it would really change anything for me.
However, I was wondering what you meant about colored backgrounds and other accommodations - I have been wondering if I were autistic, what would I do differently? I already have blue-light filters on my glasses and use a blue-light filter on my computers, and I often keep my computer screens dimly lit because I’m so photo-sensitive.
I’ve never figured out how to live comfortably with someone else in terms of lighting, overhead lights in my house really bother me, and my partner unfortunately seems to need much more light than me to see well, so I feel like I’m always being tortured under these bright lights. But wearing shades all the time seems like a non-starter 🤔 Maybe this is what you meant by tinted glasses, something between?
Thanks for your help! 💕
Took a run in the park and then cut quarter-round trim for an inner corner and used finishing nails to attach them to the baseboards - just need to caulk and paint them next, but the baseboard on the concrete wall came a little unglued from the wall when I tried nailing in the quarter round, and ultimately I had to glue the trim on the baseboard anyway (the nails were too long and ran into the concrete, and I don’t have shorter finishing nails) … very frustrating, will have to re-glue the baseboards, ugh.
Anyway - I feel like a warrior this weekend 😰
That’s incredible!!! I’m literally incapable of doing any of that so I’m really impressed, it’s fantastic work and you can be reakkg proud of yourself. How hard will regluing the baseboard be?
ha, I think you underestimate yourself! You absolutely can nail some finishing nails through trim, I think most people could find that pretty easy once shown how to.
Maybe cutting the trim would be tricky, you have to get the angles right so the two pieces fit together well in that corner (two 45 degree angles cuts on the trim meeting at a 90 degree corner), and it can be awkward getting them flush. That’s the part that makes me nervous, tbh.
Honestly, this is the whole process:
- use tape measure to verify length of trim I need
- buy the quarter round from the store, usually a little longer than I will need
- double check lengths with tape measure, and mark that length on the trim
- draw a 45 degree guide line (just draw the orthogonal line like you were going to cut the trim short, then estimate the 45 as half of that), and use a hand saw and miter box to cut a 45 degree angle on the trim at the needed length
- place the trim and verify they fit together, you might have to sand or use some other method to take off slightly more material so the pieces fit together (sometimes people say to cut a 46 degree angle instead, just taking a tiny extra material off - you caulk between them anyway, and this is a basement so it doesn’t need to be pretty or perfect).
- take the finishing nails and aim them roughly so they will go into the baseboard, holding the nail with your hands, use a hammer to lightly get the nail started in the right direction, then as it sinks in a little, you can increase the force with the hammer and start to remove your fingers as a guide
- take a thin punch tool and with a hammer, sink the nail head into the trim, so it’s indented now and the nail is not flush
- do another nail every 6 - 12 inches (every 15 - 30 cm), I just estimate the length with various body parts, but you can use a measuring tape to get a sense of the distance for the first few nails
- with the concrete side, I used “liquid nails” or “construction adhesive” in a caulking “gun”, spreading it on the trim and then putting the trim up against the baseboard, then partially drive finishing nails into the trim to hold it to the baseboard while the glue dries
That was pretty much it! I think any able-bodied person could reasonably do this, though it’s a lot of bending over and so on (so it’s an endurance issue, it helps if you keep the body in shape, esp. core strength - but we all vary on this). I taught myself how to do all of it from watching youtube videos.
I certainly don’t feel proud of myself, but you are so nice and I love your perspective, maybe I should feel proud of myself! I certainly feel some relief that I am making progress, this project has been looming over my head for years now.
Regarding reglueing the baseboards: I think it won’t be too hard to stick the construction adhesive in the crack between the baseboard and the concrete wall, the hard part I haven’t really figured out yet is how to create tension against the baseboard so while the glue is curing the baseboard is held flush, pressed against the wall … The way I figured out how to do it last time was by taking a few lengths of scrap wood I had laying around (I think they were part of a palette at one point?) and I laid them one after the other on the ground, then used wood shims to make up the rest of the length from the baseboard to the opposite wall, which finally was enough to cause the whole thing to create tension and pressure up against the baseboard …
but there are a few snags with that plan now: the quarter round creates a rounded edge that makes it harder to properly apply pressure to, and I sorta need the pressure most at the top of the baseboard 🤔 So I haven’t figured that out yet. Most of the advice for how to solve this problem starts with things I don’t want to do, namely buying or borrowing an expensive tool to drill through the concrete and lay essentially an anchor that I can then sink a nail or screw into, and use that to fasten the baseboard. I mean, if that was an option, I wouldn’t need to glue the damn thing in the first place.
Anyway, thanks for reading my ridiculous updates, haha - the drama continues 😄
if I understand correctly, then something like these might help. They are not too extensive (here in Germany at least) and we used them to press baseboards to the walls while drying, as well as helping keep plasterboards up while constructing ceilings.
It’s good I like reading them! And thanks for typing that out it’s really simple and easy to understand
Ive been slowly working on taking peoples shit a lot less and standing up for myself :3
I had surgery last week. Nothing major or serious, but enough to immobilize me during recovery. I am already disabled with chronic pain so having even more pain that made me unable to get out of bed or use the bathroom without help was rough. I have recovered to the point I am more independent and it feels good to push through recovery. I did a lot of sleeping and resting and am feeling much better than when recovery started. I am still going to be recovering for another week or so, but it does feel good to have survived all of this (so far). It also gave me an appreciation that my usual chronic pain could always be worse, to really appreciate the things I can do rather than linger on what I cannot.
You’ve done brilliantly there, surgery is a big deal, it’s scary and recovering can be rough. Losing our independence is a horrible feeling, especially over basics like going the toilet. Then there’s the pain on top of all that. Well done mate