What else are you suppose to do?
I will just say, having gone through a real rough year, it’s not always black and white. I be vulnerable with the boys and ask for help, but I need time to process first, and to do it in the way I want and the time I want.
In the meantime, I am often sending memes for that small comfort of friendship while I process.
If only that worked for me. I’ve been in a depressing place for 5 years, and I both opened up to my homies and brother… Crickets.
My wife keeps me sane and grounded.
what boys? This ignores the original point. There isnt some big group of friends just waiting for a cry for help… The point is they arent receptive to it and it causes them to withdraw. A dude feeling suicidal? Literally no wants to hear it. Theyll just feel uncomfortable and avoid you.
Sounds like you need new boys. If you tell your friends you’re feeling that low and they withdraw from you because it makes them feel icky, they aren’t your friends. They’re self centered pricks who aren’t worth investing your time or feeling into.
You kidding?
(Looks at them)
That empty spot is where those two would be, if they didn’t have to do 55 hours/wk at work and care for their families the rest of the time.
He got depressed and vanished a year ago. No one knows where he went. He didn’t leave any contact info.
He’s literally too stupid to breathe. We keep him around for the laughs but no one is going to tell him anything.
And he’s literally dead.
you guys have homies?
All my homies dispersed after our lives became so painful and tiring that we had nothing to share anymore.
Men growing up never learn how to talk about their lives and wants and fears with each other, it’s always fake bravado, masculinity, “how can I make everyone laugh” and other increasingly desperate attempts to cling to the simple, happy days of childhood when there was less to worry about and every day was magical.
When the magic wanes, we’re left as people holding nothing. We don’t know how to laugh anymore. We don’t know how to make anyone else laugh anymore. We stop smiling. We stop going out of our way to even keep up appearances, and just fade into the background, and most of us like it that way. Because society broadly doesn’t know how to handle male emotional states that don’t follow stereotypes for cartoonish masculinity. So as men get older, we get more and more alone.
I literally have no clue what it feels like to have other men, related or not, to lean on and talk to. I’ve never had support from anyone outside of my partner, and cannot imagine how dark life is for men who don’t even have that. Yes, our world is unkind to men. It’s also unkind to women in a different way.
We can each change it, but it takes effort, emotional intelligence, and of course the time in the day that most of us don’t have once you have bills to pay and people to take care of.
And I don’t say this as some kind of whiny-ass teenage MGTOW redpill kid who is mad at women. I have studied sociology and neurology for decades, I have been a coach and trainer to young men, as well as women and families, I have taught self-defense, I’ve been in therapy, I’ve had substance abuse problems, i’ve kicked substance abuse problems. I’ve been religious and renounced it all. I’ve been a shut-in introverted gamer turned outgoing, public-speaking business leader. I’ve lived a few and speak from decades of just being and watching.
the problem is systemic. a brotherhood of man wouldn’t put up with the whims of poor leadership.
I usually just disappear and than appear again, like nothing happened.
And then kill themselves
Source CDC
Wasn’t the attempted suicide rate for men and women the same (not completely sure), but men overall tended to opt in for more ‘successful’ methods making the actual suicide rate higher?
Women attempt more, but use ineffective strategies like overdose. Men attempt less, but use more effective strategies than women do (like half of successful attempts are with guns. It’s actually really hard to OD on purpose - tried it at least three times lol)
It’s not a “men have it better than women” or vice versa thing. It’s more about cultural presentations of suicide and suicidality.
Hey! It makes the day better when your homies laugh
