I don’t see a problem with it as long as no trafficking is involved.
I agree with this. I have found that most women do not however. It has been a great trouble for me, to talk about, when trying to find a new partner.
Do you make use of the sex workers while in the relationship with the new partner?
So long as everyone involved consents sans coercion, I do not see why anyone else should care/be involved
Does waiting tables and having sex with strangers feel similar to you? These jobs aren’t comparable from a psychological standpoint. I never heard that it’s common for waiters to be substance users or have PTSD.
There’s a huge difference between picking up a streetwalker, going to a legal brothel, or answering a personal ad in places like Canada where it’s a grey area if it’s legal
Like, off the street there’s probably some coercion somewhere, legal brothel it’s less likely they’re forced to do it but it might still be trafficking but there’s likely at least some form of oversight, and personal ads are a total crapshoot. It might be someone who’s selective and just making some money, it might be someone that has to accept every offer.
When things arent 100% legal, some shady is statistically just going to happen. You can’t regulate an illegal business.
Tbh I know little about the topic and was under the (maybe wrong) impression than many sex workers are poor people that need to do it to survive. But then I guess the issue I was pointing is more about our capitalist society than about sex work
Regulated does not mean people weren’t pressured into it. Telling a young single mother from a poor country that most of her problems will vanish if she just works as a sex worker for a few years in Germany is legal and regulated. It’s not trafficking and not really coercion either. She will get a social security number, pay taxes, get health care, all that stuff she perhaps won’t get at home.
What do you think she will tell you if you ask her whether she is doing the job freely and if she wants to keep the job? Of course she will say yes.
But is it really just like any other job? The fact that sex workers in countries where it is regulated still suffer disproportionately from mental health problems, alcohol and drug abuse tells a different story.
All work is exloitation, sexual work is sexual exploitation. Its not exactly consent if the other option is being homeless or starving.
That’s trie if any work, as you’re saying. But then why would it be more of a problem with sex work than with any other work?
Its a perfectly reasonable option for those that for whatever reason are unable to meet their needs by more conventional/ socially acceptable means. I do not make use of sex worker services currently but if the need arose in the future I would not rule it out, and would not look down on anyone else for doing so (as long as trafficing is not involved)
One situation where I think it’s perfectly rational to use sexual services is for mentally handicapped people who have no realistic options for actual relationships. I live in Denmark where prostitution is legal on some conditions. The healthcare staff sometimes have to order prostitutes for their clients to cope with their urges and thereby avoiding violent situations from someone getting too frustrated. The client pays themselves and it’s both men and women using the option. The sex workers in these jobs are usually not found in back alleys or dodgy websites but through personal networks. It’s still very taboo.
I wonder how these clients are treated in countries where it is outright illegal. Probably not at all, or by illegal methods.
The main problem seems to be trafficking, not the sex services. Everyone does something for money that they really don’t want to do, like going to the office 40 hours every week.
If it was possible and required to verify the consensuality, it would probably remove a lot of the illegal services, and more legal services could thrive. There’ll always be ways to work around it, so it’s a difficult thing to address.
Do you think it would be okay for a state to, for example, cut off social benefits for a person who can’t find any other job but refuses to do sex work?
No, that would be wrong, but there is always some form of work out there that isnt sex work - it may not be pleasant or well paid though
Do you really think sex work is pleasant?
Most sex workers are from poor countries, many are single mothers who have to send money back home. Often times there is a pimp (or “boyfriend”) in the back who expects some kind of debt payments.
How do you explain that about 95 % of sex workers are disenfranchised women from poor countries when it’s supposedly a pleasant job that makes a lot of money?
I want to live in a world where no one feels they are struggling so much that they need to turn to selling their body for sex.
However, I don’t live in that world, so in the meantime I support sex workers, because sex work is work.
The men who use their services? That’s a tougher nut to crack.
My partners brother is heavily mentally disabled and pushing 40, he’s still very much like a child, but obviously does not have a child’s libido. This man has never had an intimate interaction with a woman. He might never get the chance, he struggles to talk to women, even women who have similar issues as himself. I think sex workers could be beneficial for him, in the right context, for giving him intimacy he may otherwise never experience. I don’t think he would ever think/know to pursue a sex worker, but I could be wrong. There’s also the issue of his emotions began to be involved, which leads me to…
I’d be more worried about him finding OnlyFans and blowing through all his disability money each month instead of realizing he’s not actually getting much out of such a “relationship.” He’s the kind of person who a parasocial relationship like that could really damage their already troubling mental health. The same thing could happen with a prostitute, but they are less likely to hang the relationships on fake social cues that say they care about you. He’s not quite advanced enough to understand that these women are being paid to pretend to care, I don’t think.
Also, there’s other types of men who use these services I’m sure aren’t a net positive. There are plenty of conservative men who already view a standard relationship as a sexual transaction (I take care of girl = she give me sex), so they’re not far from viewing everything women with transactional already. Secondly, not only do the already view it as transactional, many of these conservative men turn to prostitutes because average women simply don’t want to date them because of their horrible, outdated views on women’s bodily autonomy. They are already angsty and moody because of women not wanting to date them, and they often are willing to take out their frustrations on the woman they paid to serve them. I see these men as not respecting and hurting the women they turn to for sex work.
Anyway, just some quick thoughts on the subject.
Thank you for putting what’s pretty much exactly my view on the topic into words.
I would like to add though that I expect of men using sex services to thoroughly check and make sure that the women whose service they use provide this service by their own choice, which means they are in no way forced, not by pimps but also not by financial hardship.
With this constraint I’m afraid that many if not most existing sex services are actually probably not ethical to use.
Sex work is legal where I live. Nevertheless there is a lot of crime related to the sex work sector, human traficking, sexual abuse of minors, gangs etc. However I think it would be much worse if it was not regulated in anyway. My personal opinion - I would rather live in a world without it. Personally I would never go to a hooker. Most important thing though is that sex workers can decide for themselves and are not forced to do sex work (may it physical force, drug addiction or just no other way financially)
