I had a girlfriend in my 20s that used to hook up with other girls. For some reason I never considered that cheating and never cared. No idea why it never bothered me.
I’m in my early 40s with four kids now and that seems like way too much work lol. To be clear though, I definitely would have considered it cheating if she was with another dude. It was just with other women it wasn’t an issue at all for me.
in that case you may have some unrealized homophobia, causing you to not view queer interactions as fully valid compared to straight interactions
Even in cases where it ends a relationship, there’s something slightly less bad about a partner cheating on you with a gender different than your own. “What do they have that I don’t have?? Oh, right, a vagina and boobs/a dick.”