Yeah I think I was a bit confusing, I’m saying essentially anything labeled actual “dating” is code for sex, in person or online. Although I won’t discount that there is likely a few dating apps out there that are essentially anti-hookup (ive heard anecdotes of using christian mingle even if you are atheist).

As for your last point, you are right that what I described can be dating culture, in the traditional sense of the word. But the key is, it doesnt have to be. Those things are different things to different people. I’m saying you should do those things but dont treat them as dating. Be more interested in the thing, rock climbing or whatever it is, work on improving yourself and helping others improve. You won’t look desperate, which is one of the biggest turn offs when meeting people, and you will have something to talk about somewhat confidently.

Also asking others for help is a great way to cause them to like you, as weird as that sounds. Its an ego thing I think.

The point is, again just from my perspective, is to not focus on dating itself, just focus on being around people doing something you care about. People are attracted to genuine people who aren’t desperate.

You ever walk by a street musician and are drawn to stop and watch? Think about why that might be, why you might feel safe enough to walk up to a street musician and engage with them but you might be afraid to engage with a random person who you run into at the coffee shop.