Comment by TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works on He will weep.

I understand that some women don’t want to be called female when they are not cisgendered.

I just don’t understand why a cisgendered person would have a problem being referred to as such, unless they were unsure if they were cis, or were bothered by the topic of gender identity as a whole.

If its the former, than I can understand, but if its the latter, then that’s a you problem, and I don’t care if you are offended being called cis.

Why would a trans woman have any more problem with being called female?

Male/female have a usecase of being used to try to distance oneself from the subjects of your sentence and often used in more scientific or legalistic styles and can come off as dehumanizing as a result.

Ah, I see what you are saying. I understand the connotations of referring to someone as female directly, and I would never do so.

There are times where female is more proper to use, such as in medical settings, or as a descriptor in certain settings, e.g. ‘female hygiene products’. Some trans males and enbys would still be bothered by seeing the word ‘female’ in the proper setting, too.

Some trans males … would still be bothered by seeing the word ‘female’ in the proper setting, too.

Trans men are males and trans women are females…

I know that. So you agree and idk what you are trying to add here. Hence why I said that they are bothered when they see the word ‘female’ on things like their medical paperwork, dead named IDs, products they have to use, etc.

Just because they are males doesn’t mean the rest of the world automatically changes its pronouns for them, and its unfortunate they have to deal with that.

I don’t agree with the concept of gender. Therefore, I object to being referred to as “cis” or “trans”. I have a sexed body and a brain within it that does brain things.

No, I don’t identify as agender either. That still is part of the concept of gender.

Downvotes or deletion in 3…2…1…

Do you have pronouns folks should use when referring to you, or should folks just use your screen name?

I use the pronoun that is appropriate for my sex.

Based off of their comment, if its not sarcastic, the only pronoun I could think of that doesn’t have any hint of gender or enbyism to it is, “it”.

“It” refers to things. I am a human being.

I apologize for assuming. Some people do actually prefer ‘it’, though. Your comment reminded me of a friend I have, who rejects any consideration of gender whatsoever. My friend prefers ‘it’ as a general pronoun if you aren’t using their name, directly.

They? ‘it’ can be used in an offensive manner.

I know that “it” can sound bad if it’s not preferred, but I know some people that do actually prefer “it”. Most people would prefer “they”, but “they” still suggests some form of non-binaryism is what I was getting at. Some people want something even farther away from the concept.

Weeellll I hate to nitpick but “they” only has a nonbinary connotation because of the hype around the issue atm, but it has been used for a good long while to refer to people of unknown gender (or a plurality thereof). The best example I can come up with is think about electronic music, Major Lazer, are they a group? One dude? One woman? One of each? Two of one and one of another? Who knows what they are (shhh you could google it but ykwim). “They” is the natural choice in this instance, otherwise you’re just guessing.

Also it does happen to fit in with the nonbinary crowd for much of the same reason, many of them want to appear androgynous or of unknown gender and so they basically use it on the same principle but it isn’t exclusive to them nor should it necessarily conjure up images of nonbinary people just because that’s currently the new use, it’s probable many people have been using it as I described and never even noticed because it was just ingrained, and we only notice it at the “new” application regarding a specific individual’s gender that we may perceive as “known” subconsciously.

Some people do use “it” as their pronouns. (I’ve been shopping for pronoun pins, there’s a market for “it” pronoun pins, but it isn’t one of the Big 3.)

The problem I’ve seen with being called “female” is when a speaker uses “men” for one set of people and “female” for another, in the same context. It feels gross, like they don’t see women as fully human. It feels much less bleck when a speaker uses “male” and “female”.

The going line is that “female” is for animals, “woman” is for human women, and if you say “female” you’re an incel bigot who should die. They also often say “you’d never say ‘male’ to refer to men” but I actually do that all the time, to the degree now if I don’t want to be bullied unnecessarily I have to say things like “My male friends don’t care what I call them, but my ~~fem-~~ [backspace] woman friends are very particular about verbiage.”

It’s weird, but what can ya do.

I think it’s mostly about how it’s used, yeah? Nobody calls me cis in real life. 40+ years and it hasn’t come up. The only time I see it used is derogatively.

I don’t mind - I have strong opinions about letting peeps vent, but I can see why others find it negative.

The only time I see it used is derogatively.

Give a few examples, please.

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