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22 points

There is nothing wrong with your device. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We control the horizontal. We control the vertical.

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16 points

…We control the treble, and all your bass belongs to us too.

/incredibly ancient joke

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4 points

If you think the zoomers don’t know about Zero Wing you got another thing coming, buster 😎

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2 points

I suddenly have the UHF theme song stuck in my head. We gonna make a couch potatah outta you!

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