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27 points
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i went to a wedding once where the pastor took the whole hour-long ceremony to bash gayness

then the ‘reception’ was breakfast lol

followed by some lame “dating game” between the bride & groom vs the oldest couple in attendance

no booze, no music, no dancing

any future invitations are going in the trash if any of the above elements are going to be involved

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4 points

Wowza. I thought the last wedding I attended was bad, but yours takes the cake. The wedding ceremony was an hour long sermon, but thankfully the worst actual explicit content was a reference to the wife “submitting” to the husband. Which really grossed out me and my entire side of the family & friends (who are largely atheist or non-practising). And then the reception was dry, but at least did have dancing and really good food.

And also I and a few others on my side of the family snuck in hip flasks of booze, which was sorely needed to get through the painfully preachy speeches from the groomsmen. Not one sentence went by without reference to how great god is or how much they and the groom love their sku daddy. The best man’s speech in particular was about ten minutes of saying how much he and the groom loved to go for runs together and then get on their knees and pray together. No, that summary doesn’t overstate the homoerotic undertones.

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4 points

I mean, if you knew the couple at all there should have been warning signs?

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5 points

former coworkers. everyone was like um wtf you can’t be serious when they announced it. and just like everyone predicted, the marriage lasted less than a year. severest case of “you don’t see red flags when you’re wearing rose colored glasses” i’ve ever seen

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