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65 points

He’s not going to jail.

Simple battery, rich white kid. Do the math.

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35 points
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Yeah, it’s a class A misdemeanor in Illinois, so he’ll almost certainly get probation.

Edit: Ironically, he might catch a felony for destruction of property if her phone was worth more than $500.

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3 points

Do the math.

I read that as “do the meth” at first for some reason 😄

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2 points

So is that why the Jaguar failed? It was marketed exclusively to meth-users? I mean, it’s a decently-sized and underserved market, but maybe they didn’t have enough money to be buying game consoles in the 1990s.

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