An example of what I mean:

I, in China, told an English speaking Chinese friend I needed to stop off in the bathroom to “take a shit.”

He looked appalled and after I asked why he had that look, he asked what I was going to do with someone’s shit.

I had not laughed so hard in a while, and it totally makes sense.

I explained it was an expression for pooping, and he comes back with, “wouldn’t that be giving a shit?”

I then got to explain that to give a shit means you care and I realized how fucked some of our expressions are.

What misunderstandings made you laugh?

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140 points
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My friend tried to call me a “night owl” because we tended to talk very late at night for my time zone. She accidentally called me a “lady of the night”.

EDIT: “lady of the night” is a term for prostitute

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37 points
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I don’t remember the details, but a similar situation on a ship with people from all over the world, resulted in my shift being called “vampire shift”. It was very suitable too, as I got up at sunset, and my shift was over around dawn. I liked it that way - it kept me out of the sun.

EDIT: This was in addition to the other shifts; day shift (noon->midnight), night shift (midnight->noon), and chief shift (0600->1800). My shift was a weird one that only I had so that I could overlap with both day and night and cover for the chief tech during his off hours.

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25 points

Kind of like “graveyard shift”, which isn’t a funny translation, it’s commonly used (where I live) slang for the overnight shift. I like “vampire shift” better than “graveyard”.

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7 points

We had two female black cats named Midnight and Luna,

When guests would come over ask about our young children about the cats, a child would explain to the adult guests that Midnight and Luna were our ladies of the night, explaining that Luna means moon.

This went on for years.

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2 points

Friend: You’re a talkative owl-whore! 😂
You: ☹️

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