If you read my previous post on other place I asked about dating and most responses sounded like it was nice. Yes, I’m aware that relationships are not only good times (I’ve seen my mother being tired of her partner and scared of my father) but when you have literally NOTHING in your life you can’t help to idolising the things you never had…
I don’t think that’s weird, but it’s definitely sad
There is A LOT of good willing people that want to help you. There are a lot of resources that you can use but you aren’t aware of.
People are so very confidently telling everyone this.
Where I live, you really would think that’s the case. But for years, nothing. Even my own family is distant af, as if they didn’t understand the concept of depression. See it makes them uncomfortable that I’m not my usual happy self, so obviously that’s very rude of me.
I was also tossed out of an ER when I literally told an on-call psychiatrist I was afraid of hurting myself or others. And I meant it. It was after a very traumatic event I was genuinely so broken with nowhere to go and no-one to turn to. He got a guard to escort me out. Then I called my local free crisis hotline. They told me I’m not having a crisis and hung up.
Last time I asked an opinion about the shit healthcare I’m getting from my brother, he waived it off and now hasn’t contacted me for three weeks.
It took a lot of fighting with the healthcare here, but I finally did manage to get a therapist, and I specifically looked for someone who’s not from the same country and didn’t grow up in this emotionally stunted culture. So that’s one positive thing. But one hour a week isn’t much, and it’s only for a few years I get it.
So while I appreciate the sentiment and probably for most people these resources actually work to at least some extent, they do not work for everyone. So assuming something that might be incorrect and very triggering is something I’d advice to try and avoid if at all possible.
tossed out of an ER
I can relate. That was horrible experience for me and only by intervention of my best friend I am still here.
finally did manage to get a therapist, […] So that’s one positive thing
This is HUGE sucess. Congrats! And stick with it for at least couple of months.
Your mind is playing tricks on you where you toss out a possible solutions outright due to buried emotions.
There are a lot of different types of reaources and some work and some don’t.
Different types of Therapy (CBT, EMDR, etc.), group therapy, books and lectures, long hikes, pilgrimages, d&d, meditation, Alcoholics Anonymous, hitting the gym, temp work agency and even more esoteric ones that I don’t reccomend without trying more normal ones. They all are tools that may not work for you but there exists the tool that will work. The difficulty is in finding one that somewhat works and not giving up half way.
Yeah therapy helps, but there’s clearly an underlying physical issue that I’ve been trying to figure out for more than 20 years.
But since in my twenties I mentioned weed helping with the symptoms, I’ve since not been listened to at all, treated as a full on drug addict and every single symptom I have had have been thought to be psychosomatic.
I’ve evidence to the contrary. Supported by surgery scars, doctor’s statements (from when the doctors actually listened to me when I was younger) and I even quote peer reviewed research from credible medical journals.
But no. Just treat me like a psychotic junkie. And if I challenge them in any of that, it just confirms their “suspicions”.
I’d just need a couple of grand to waste on private doctors, but I don’t have a couple of grand extra.
So if what I had was purely psychogenic, yes, you’d be totally right. But if what I have is depression because of my underlying chronic illness going undiagnosed because of inept and unwilling healthcare, then therapy might alleviate the symptoms, but it’s not gonna make it go away completely.
My mental health isn’t 100%, but my biggest problem at the moment is Finnish bureaucracy, to which shit healthcare is very much intertwined with.
Edit oh and it didn’t take me years to go to therapy because I was unwilling, it’s because the healthcare said I didn’t need any.
I’ve since not been listened to at all,
Yeah, that sucks.
I have read some years ago tips for women on reddit how to deal with misygonic docs that don’t take problems seriously. The gist of it was to present a story with your appearence that will help the doc emphatize with you (as I remember that was to present themselfs as business woman where illness prevents them from working.)
I guess something similar could be used for drug user that somehow is intepreted as addict.
I am uninformed but I heard from psychiatrist that weed has some negative effects on mental illness.
I would consider stopping weed for a bit, ride on painkillers(? I am totally clueless) for that time and try to get prescription for weed if it’s possible (wikipedia says that it’s legal for medical use.)
