My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.

What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁

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37 points

What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why did the blind man fall in the well? He couldn’t see that well.

A man goes to the doctor and says “I think I have hearing problems.” “Can you describe the symptoms?” “Sure! Homer’s fat and Marge has blue hair.”

Did you hear about the huge sale at the Lego store? People were lined up for blocks.

I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, “Do you want to hear today’s special?” I said, “Yes please.” “No problem sir. Today is special.”

I’d tell you a time travel joke, but you didn’t get it.

I used to work at a toy factory making plastic Draculas. There were only two of us, so I had to make every second Count.

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10 points

First 3 should get a good reaction. The rest require context I’m more sure she’s picked up on properly yet.

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1 point

I don’t get the Simpsons one

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5 points

What’s brown and sticky?

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2 points

My favourite joke, being the only one I can remember. Still gets a laugh!

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