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why do our noses & anuses think different types of paper are softest?

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Ellia Plissken@lemm.ee
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I’ve had hemorrhoids for like 25 years, so I’ve always been very discerning about my toilet paper.

this entire time, I’ve been using whatever toilet paper I have found to be the softest as facial tissue, to blow my nose, as well. my reasoning being, if this stuff is gentle enough for my hemorrhoids, of course it’s going to be gentle enough for repeated use on my upper lip.

then, a friend turns me on to one of those new “with lotion” facial tissues (my bathroom tissue always has aloe in it) and wouldn’t you know it, my upper lip finds it to be softer than the toilet paper. but, when I try using it as toilet paper, my anus doesn’t find it to be less irritating than the toilet paper.

why do my butthole and my upper lip think that different things are softer? is it just chemistry?

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Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world
29 points
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Rub your nose on your anus and you’ll have your answer.

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Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
-8 points

…Damn Girl! How flexable ARE you??? Can I rent you for the night???

Oh, sorry. That came off wrong.

I was just trying to imply that my penis would have fun with your body, bending you into various positions for my sexual benefit.

I didn’t mean to imply you would profit or gain anything from the experience.

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fubo@lemmy.world
5 points

On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog … until you tell them.

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RobotZap10000@feddit.nl
4 points

Prepare to become famous after Google’s LLM quotes you in a few years.

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Ellia Plissken@lemm.eeOP
25 points

okay, I will start taking yoga now, and get back to you once I am capable of running this test

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maccentric@sh.itjust.works
2 points

I’ve done yoga for the better part of 3 decades and I’m not even close. You’re better off cultivating a friendship with someone to get them to rub their nose on your anus as you do the same for them. But seriously, you should still do the yoga, you’re body will thank you as you age.

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