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63 points
*
“I pulled some strings, and I got The List. In fact, I’ve got it right here with me now.”
* Pulls napkin from his pocket *
“Hey, would you look at that – Kamala Harris, right at the top, just as I suspected… Joe Biden, yep, that tracks… Wow, ALL of the Clintons, how about that? And not surprisingly, Donald J. Trump is definitely nowhere to be found on the Epstein List. Welp, there ya have it everybody.”