Mother had BPD, possibly ASPD, brother had NPD. I have a tendency to attract people who suffered intense childhood trauma.
I’m picturing you going on a first date and just casually asking something like “So, childhood abuse yes or no?”
Like another comment said, sometimes you can just sense it, but often enough they will just tell me. I have heard so many stories, frequently about sexual assault by a family member, from someone I had just met or barely knew.