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62 points
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No wait nevermind they were just between the couch cushions here. Haha that’s so funny I don’t know why I would assu- … wait… WHY IS THIS ON THE NEWS

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23 points

Oh shit, car keys are fucking couches now??

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24 points

No but JD Vance was visiting just a few hours earlier

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18 points

It’s Vance. You have any idea what’s in the couch cushions?

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2 points

Have you ever wondered why even keys not made from brass smell the way they do? And why they are often sticky? Vance! Get some help! Stop fucking our couches full of lost keys!

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