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166 points

I wanna see a modern Zombie movie with how people would actually react to news of a zombie outbreak given how people behaved during the pandemic

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4 points

“No, I am not going with you to a concert in the park! There’s a zombie horde out there! We’ll get bitten!”

“Hey, even the WHO says it’s not an apocalypse anymore. The zombies are endemic now. You can’t live your life in fear.”

“Your mom was eaten by zombies literally last week.”

“Yeah but she had diabetes. There’s always gonna be people with preexisting conditions who are gonna be more vulnerable.”

“At least wear your denim jacket to make it harder for them to bite you!”

“There was a study in the Lancet that said heavy clothes don’t work.”

“You know full well that what they found was that requiring heavy clothes didn’t work because people just got bitten at the times when they weren’t wearing them.”

“The author himself said jackets don’t work.”

“He said that after he was bitten and just before demanding our brains!”

“Okay, sheeple. Oh, hey Mom. We’re just heading out to the concert.”

“Wait, your mom is here? I thought she was…”

“BRAAAAIINSSS…”

“You LET HER BACK IN after she died and came back as a zombie!?”

“Dude, she’s not infectious anymore. She caught it like four days ago.”

“That is NOT how this works! What… DON’T HUG HER!”

“Bye Mom, love you…ow!”

“She just bit you, didn’t she.”

“Nah, I’m fine. Let’s go to the concert.”

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114 points
  • Half the population claims it’s all a hoax and lets zombies bite them because anything else is a violation of their freedoms

  • Large swaths of gun owners take to the streets, and half of them die quickly because they put more money into the number of guns they had or making them tacticool instead of putting rounds through them or sighting them in.

  • It gets overly politicized.

  • The literal collapse of civilization, yet some corners of the government and billionaires are still trying to milk out the last drop of money

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3 points
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You forgot the activists protesting for zombie’s rights to eat our brains

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11 points

I actually think it would be good uniting force for a divided country:

  • The “it’s a hoax” portion of the population will simply become zombies
  • The “we love guns” portion of the population can now take their life frustrations out on the zombies
  • The “we need to fix this world” portion of the population will learn to fight too and provide vital aid and supplies to the (likely growing) “we love guns” group
  • The “we need run away from this madness” portion of the population will just hunker down and play on their smartphones

Either way, everyone kind of wins

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7 points

I think you’re a little off on the “we need to fix this world” guys.

Although zombie films / TV series lean heavily into the action side of things, that’s just because it’s more entertaining than watching people building things, developing tech, doing scientific research.

Remember with COVID 19? Huge numbers of people immediately set out to find a cure, inventing and deploying ways to prevent and monitor the spread, creating pop-in treatment centres, etc.

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19 points

Shaun of the Dead kind of did it.

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18 points

Gun owners patrol the streets shooting at the cdc

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4 points
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The game series Dead Rising does the last bullet point with Zombrex, the 24 hour zombie prevention drug, which they need zombie outbreaks to make the drug so the pharmaceutical company starts causing them.

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67 points

Don’t look up was basically this but a meteor instead of zombies. It was honestly kind of a depressing movie lol

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1 point

Ah shit I said this but didn’t bother to see this first

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48 points

What’s crazy is that they made the movie before the pandemic, but it was almost a parody of the trump administration and the response to covid.

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10 points

As written and performed by Simon Pegg.

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22 points

Avenue 5 has a pretty funny scene where a series of skeptical conspiracy theorist types are ignoring a very specific warning, claiming that the people they see dying before their very eyes are an illusion some kind of special effects and each follows to their own death.

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1 point

That scene scared the shit out of me more than any horror movie ever could.

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34 points

28 Days Later had a dinnertable conversation that was exsctly like how people were talking during covid.

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21 points

Isn’t that the “… but then it wasn’t in news reports anymore; it was in our back yards, and coming in the windows…” monologue? Excellent scene.

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12 points

In this version, all the zombies are in line for toilet paper outside the grocery store.

In the sequel, you combine it with The Mummy, where they use the mummy for toilet paper.

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29 points

Get bitten on purpose to prove its a hoax and own the libs

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2 points

I’m 100% that there would be some esoteric cult microdosing zombie blood to build resistance

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39 points

Zombies ain’t rea…OH GOD ITS EATING MY FACE…still don’t believe it, he’s just on drugs.

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5 points

Krokodil!

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12 points

Feed, by Mira Grant, is fun because it takes place years after a zombie uprising, but in a world where George Romero movies existed, so everyone knew what to do. It was a catastrophe, but not an apocalypse.

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6 points

“Don’t look up” is essentially the simulation of a modern apocalypse scenario

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2 points

There’s a series called The Bite, it was filmed during earlier quarantine times of the ongoing pandemic and features a bunch of cast from The Good Fight. Is good.

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4 points

I was gonna say Independence Day, for this reason. “Fake news, probably just CHINA! Sad!”

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2 points

Zombie deniers being eaten as they continue to insist it’s a liberal hoax.

Unrelated but I was thinking if it was a zombie outbreak. And I’m stuck in a retirement home. Am I safe? They can’t bite me, they don’t have teeth

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5 points
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The movie follows a minimum wage delivery driver in his armored car plowing through hordes of zombies to deliver pizza to the safe houses where people are hiding out.

Edit: When he delivers the pizza, the survivors complain it is cold and don’t tip. He backs his truck through their security fence, letting the zombies in and drives off to the next delivery.

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