… I mean, the boat’s at the bottom of the sea, bit late to be worrying about health and safety now!

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18 points

James Cameron is slowly stealing it, so he can reconstruct the bow of the Titanic in his mansion. Then he can blackmail Leo and Kate into recreating their famous scene while he stuffs thousand dollar bills into his soiled undercrackers. Or that’s what I’d do in his shoes, but, if I had his money, my y-fronts would be spotless.

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7 points

Without wanting to jump on the ‘Decaprio only shags 20 year olds’ bandwagon, Winslett is about the same age as him: knocking on the door of 50.

Regardless of that, my mental image of you (as one of the stalwart champions of feddit.uk) absolutely features you in spotless y-fronts. Spotless y-fronts and a hat. That’s how I like to imagine you. So, er, that’s a win.

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3 points

I don’t want to spoil the magic (of imagining Internet strangers in their unmentionables) but my head is too big for hats. No such issues with my banana hammock.

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2 points

Never give in, never surrender. Somewhere there is a boater big enough for your bounteous bonce!

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