cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/24388390
Hi everyone,
I’m reaching out to ask for advice and insights on how you manage emotional dysregulation. Lately, I’ve been finding it challenging to handle intense emotions, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere or are triggered by small things.
I know this is something that many people in the AuDHD community experience, so I’d love to hear about any strategies, tools, or practices that have worked for you. Whether it’s specific techniques, coping mechanisms, or lifestyle changes, I’m open to anything that might help.
Thank you in advance for your support and for sharing your experiences. I really appreciate hearing from others who understand what this is like.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Thank you. This is important, but I need to process it.
My situation is a little different, but it’s similar to the end of a long-term relationship, and I went through nearly all of what you’ve described. A few months have passed, and I feel like I’m nearing the end of whatever this is. I also reacted strongly to something insignificant, like a basketball, before I realized I needed to address it. If it’s not too personal, could you give an example of what you mean by signs of being in hypoarousal and hyperarousal? I’ve noticed situations where I’ll freeze up if I feel judged, and I’ve also caught myself stimming (rocking side to side in my chair when I’m overstimulated or stressed). I haven’t been officially diagnosed yet, but I no longer have any doubts that I’m on the spectrum.
Don’t apologize, I do the exact same thing, and I knew you didn’t want to reply unless it was high-quality. What you posted was perfect. Thank you.
Thanks for understanding, it’s a lot to deal with and it’s great your reaching out.
- Hyperarousal refers to symptoms that signal that you’re overstimulated (fight-and-flight response, anxiety, reactive emotions, agression, defensiveness). Hypoarousal are symptoms that signal that you’re being understimulated (think disassociations, withdown, fatigue, intrusive thoughts.) Being able to target the zone between these states (the window of tolerance) where you are aware of the present moment, able to regulate emotions, and feel secure lets you regulate the thoughts and emotions.
Understanding what over and understimulates helps identify triggers, especially since emotions can be quite intense. There’s a few ways to regulate and it’s all about finding what works for you.
- The strategy I leaned into was breaking down my mental processes into “Thoughts, Feelings, Behavior” so for example Thoughts: Literally no one would use this basketball. She’s holding onto it like everything else like a hoarder. Feelings: Anger, Frustration, Disappointment Behaviour (Things I want to do or did do): Loudly stomping, throwing things. This let’s me analyse it and evaluate whether this is rational, valid, reasonable etc as well as stop my thought process and try to improve such as not making presumptions or talking with her.
If you can find it, the stuff my therapist and I referenced are in a book called The Neurodivergent Friendly Workbook of DBT Skills by Sonny Jane Wise (2022), specifically Section 3 and Section 5. Hopefully a pdf is available somewhere but I don’t have time tonight sadly.
I actually found that book and managed to download a copy. I’ll start reading it tomorrow.
I’ve definitely noticed times when I’ve been in each of these states. I’ll give breaking things down into “Thoughts, Feelings, Behavior” a try too.
Thanks again for all the advice and information, it’s been really helpful!
