I have a problem with establishing boundaries.
I’m a private person. That’s very often misinterpreted as being arrogant and feeling superior to others. I’m not, I just wish to be left alone, but people still feel disrespected and it’s tiring to be constantly explaining yourself. And I don’t understand why I have to explain myself constantly.
This very emotional and thankful patient wanted a picture with me and I stupidly agreed. He also wanted my phone number (I gave him a false one) to invite me to have lunch, as he celebrated his 70th birthday. I don’t believe it was sexual or romantic, because he is married, his wife was there when he extended the invitation and took the picture and he also wanted to invite the whole unit.
I acted like this because it was the easiest way to get him to leave the hospital and free the room but also because I didn’t want to cause a scene.
What could I do next time?
Not taking the picture is really spitting in the guys face. It’s so quick and it goes a long way to making them feel good, and feel good about you. It’s one of those things I would explain to my kid that you just do it and get it out of the way even if you don’t like it.
I simply don’t want to be in anyone’s photo album. Not respecting my privacy is incredibly disrespectful and mean.
Not respecting my privacy is incredibly disrespectful and mean.
You are wildly overstating it. Do you file a grievance every time the bank records your image? Privacy is not a right. You DID associate with the man, you DID socialize with the man, but you are so set against him recording the event that you consider it “incredibly disrespectful and mean?” Dude, that is a YOU thing.
You DID associate with the man, you DID socialize with the man
She did neither of these things. She rendered some services in a professional setting.
When I work in the store and sell you new shoes, I also “did not socialize with you” and it gives you absolutely no right to my privacy.
No, it’s disrespectful to not respect my wish.
If one can’t respect a simple “no thanks”, fuck em.
It’s a little rude. That’s it. Nobody needs your permission to take your photo. They are doing you a social courtesy to ask at all. You deal with it with infinite grace when a corporation takes your photo. You can tamp down your umbrage a wee bit, I think, when someone you have a personal relationship with requests the same grace. Yes, it’s a little rude. No, it’s not “incredibly disrespectful and mean.”
Having your picture in someone else’s album is such a non-thing that it just doesn’t make sense to be this upset over it.
I swear this is like arguing that you don’t want to say please and thank you because you don’t like talking to other people. Just suck it up and do it, as it greases the wheels of social interaction and would clearly, at least in the case of the OP, make this person happy.
If you said no and they did so anyway, that would be disrespectful and mean. But telling you that it’s the polite thing to do, and that you’re just getting upset over what amounts to nothing, is neither of those two things.
I dont like my picture on the internet. So I refuse all photos where possible. I have family, they take pictures, they’re aware of this and so I’m never the direct focus of the shot (you might see me in the background).
OP said they don’t want to take pictures with people, they shouldn’t have to take pictures with someone. Instead, you should be teaching your son to stand up for their boundaries, even in the face of ‘tradition’. If your kid says “I don’t like hugging grandma”, are you making them give hugs or are you encouraging them to tell people in their life, who they trust, how they feel?
What about saying please and thank you? If my kid doesn’t want to show that kind of respect to those around them, should be like “good job setting boundaries” or should I point out how this will hurt them and upset other people?
I would never force my children to do anything they don’t want to (well, I guess I can’t say that because, well, anyone who is a parent knows thats just a pipe dream lol). More to the point, I’m also not forcing the OP. They asked for advice, and I gave it. And yes if my kids didn’t want to hug my mother, I would probably explain to them that this is likely to hurt them because of tension it might create in their relationship, physical affection is generally a positive thing for bother parties, and how it also hurts their grandmother.