The struggling coffee chain has tapped Chipotle CEO Brian Niccol to be its new chairman and CEO, effective September 9. Starbucks’ stock soared more than 13% in premarket trading, while Chipotle’s dipped 8%.

Niccol has been leading the Mexican-inspired food chain since 2018, with Starbucks saying he has set “new standards in the industry and driven significant growth and value creation,” pointing to its revenue growing nearly 800% during his tenure.

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91 points

I used to love Starbucks because it was a great place to get coffee and chill. Then the whole anti-unions thing, and local coffee shops did it better making me drop Starbucks.

I used to love Chipotle because of their quality and price. Then portions got weirder. Every week was a new food recall. The ones near me look filthy and sad, and that made me drop Chipotle.

To see both of their names together… Yikes.

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23 points

For Mexican food, try your local mexican Doña or Don.

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32 points

You’re looking for the place that uses paper plates, has a website, but clearly took the picture of their food 10 years ago with a Motorola Razr.

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12 points

Website? Negative ghost rider.

You’re looking for the place with the small self-serve sauces, jalapeños and pickled carrots &onions. Never tablecloths. Strip mall locations only if located in the US Southwest. Wheels +3 to menu, -1 cost modifiers. +5 to taste if Latinx customers eat there.

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1 point

local coffee shops did it better

I wish! We have a “TimeOut!” coffee shop down the road, and they’ve got the attitude and they price their thimbles-worth like it’s the airport, but I really didn’t go in for the show so much as a decent frothy cuppa; and I left feeling just as lacking and a little less valued.

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0 points
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