I’ll toss in my 2cents. There are a few informed replies I think OP should go back and reread. I agree with OP that most of the comments are skewing AWAY from the actual topic. And, yes of course lazy dimwits are using the latest convenient terms to get out of doing whatever they ought to be doing.

Lazy will do what lazy can which I can personally corroborate. I know someone with severe ADHD who functions perfectly well in society, at home, and at work; they need patience, self-awareness, therapy, and a lot of medication that would melt my brain but let’s them functional adequately. There are also periods where their house is a wreck because they can’t get it together to clean up for a few days.

I know someone who celebrates when they “finally” get a diagnosis they know they’ve had for years but doctors “are so ignorant”. This person just wants to smoke weed all day and watch D&D let’s plays on YT; it’s my niece btw, and they have issues-ADHD is not one of them.

My filter works like this: people with a genuine hidden disability will inform you instead of using it as an excuse for why something didn’t get done. “I know I have been dropping the ball on kitchen duties. Could we swap household duties? Maybe I am more consistent with bathroom cleaning than the kitchen. And I will talk to my doctor about this at our next visit” OR “I have really bad ADHD. That’s why we don’t have any clean dishes and the kitchen stinks. But I will get right on it.”