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121 points

This was just a silly joke that got WAY out of hand. The author isn’t even trying to claim it’s real. Getting defensive and angry is the worst possible way to respond - therefore, I hope they keep doing it.

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23 points

You think fucking couches is a joke? Furniture abortions are at an all-time high and you think it’s some kind of silly joke?

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20 points

Come on. You and I both know that those stats are cushioned.

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6 points

There has been a steep recline in these numbers over the years.

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41 points

It would be something to see a headline about JD Vance denying having relations with a couch

Wonder if it’ll happen

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5 points

Oh god and they find out it was a new couch and JD has a thing for underage settees

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37 points

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

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32 points

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

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17 points
*

“It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ couch, is”

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22 points

Not to completion, at least.

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6 points

If this is genuine, I think we should accept him at his word.

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4 points

Could you imagine being the person that wrote that?!? Id take a drink of whatever just to do a spit take. “Omfg, I can’t believe it’s gone that far!”

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