After Donald Trump told journalists on Wednesday that his presidential opponent Kamala Harris “turned Black” for political gain, Trump’s comments have impacted the way many multirace voters are thinking about the two candidates.
“She was only promoting Indian heritage,” the former president said during an interview at the National Association of Black Journalists convention last week. “I didn’t know she was Black until a number of years ago, when she happened to turn Black, and now she wants to be known as Black.”
“Is she Indian or is she Black?” he asked.
She’s both.
Harris, whose mother was Indian and her father is Jamaican, would make history if she is elected president. She would be both the first female president and the first Asian American president.
Multiracial American voters say they have heard similar derogatory remarks about their identities their whole lives. Some identify with Harris’ politics more than others but, overall, they told NBC News that Trump’s comments will not go unnoticed.
Honest question here. It’s something I avoid asking most of the time because I’m not sure whether or not it’s appropriate, but would it be okay to ask, “where did your ancestors come from,” or would that still be offensive to a multiracial person? It’s not something that comes up regularly or anything, but occasionally I’ll end up in conversation with someone who is multiracial and clearly another American and I’ll think, “I wonder what their family story is? How did their predecessors get here? Where did they come from?” But I usually don’t ask because I don’t want to offend them.
Obviously I wouldn’t just walk up to a stranger and ask them, I mean if I’m getting to know someone.
Edit: I should add that I’m white, but my family history is pretty weird, so I do like to hear about others’ history regardless of their race, I just don’t want to broach the subject where it might be a sensitive one.
That seems to me to be almost as bad as “where are you from?” It’s not something white people are usually asked after all.
Neither would a black person who doesn’t have an accent. And white person is most likely not going to be asked “where are your ancestors from either”. But is it really so bad to be curious about a person’s ancestral background? Definitely tacky to have it be one of the first questions you ask though.
My personal fall back to get others to open up in any type of conversation is to start talking about food. Comfort food, junk food, family recipes/traditions; it’s all good because people can’t help but share when it comes to food. I’ve learned so much about different cultures and some damn good recipes just talking about food with everyone.
Yeah, that’s how I wound up mistakenly assuming my girlfriend was Latina for our first year together. Nah turns out she was just a white lady of Mediterranean descent who was raised alongside a bunch of migrant farm workers in Tennessee and so she finds Mexican culture comfortable and grew up with a ton of Spanish.
And I’m not saying that as a bad thing. I didn’t call her Latina because she didn’t and I just asked when she started getting into genealogy and talking about her ancestors. As far as I’m concerned the fact that she likes to decorate her home like a tacky taqueria and that she speaks Spanish when she’s too drunk are far more important than her ethnicity
but would it be okay to ask, “where did your ancestors come from,”
I’d suggest it would be best if someone’s racial background wasn’t made to be an important part of the conversation at all.
At least not unless it happens to have some relevance like in relation to places they have personally experienced or languages they speak or something like that.
Where a person’s grandparents came from isn’t (or shouldn’t be) a big deal compared to most other things about that person.
I disagree with this. A person’s heritage can be important. Racists attitudes can grow out of not understand a person’s culture. of course, a person’s heritage can also NOT be important. People do lose connections to the homeland and this seems to be more common in America.
It isn’t a big deal, but family histories really interest me and I guess I’m trying to find a way to ask a multiracial person about their family history without trying to make it sound like it’s about race.
Like I said to someone else, it’s much more informative to know that Kamala Harris’ father was not just black, but Jamaican. But if you do want to introduce race as well, it’s also more informative to know that he was also multiracial, having a parent who had a European parent. I think that can show you where a person comes from in the sense of what they consider their heritage to be. Which is not so much about race as it is about where people’s ancestors have lived in the past and what sort of cultures have been passed down through the generations.
Does that make sense?
It’s different for everyone. For me, I don’t like it when strangers ask so I don’t ask when I’m the one who is curious. If it’s friends or someone getting to know me, it doesn’t matter how it’s asked. I do not mind. If I’m handing you a beer and say " that’ll be x dollars." And you respond by asking where I’m from, it bothers me. It’s the difference between getting to know someone and trying to fit them in a box. I get that sometimes people are curious but not every curiosity has to be satisfied. When I tell them that I’m from US it’s common to be followed by “fine! Where are your parents from?” That’s just weird. I’d never approach a stranger and ask about their parents.
Yeah, sorry, I meant when getting to know someone not just asking a random stranger. I didn’t know if it was something I should hold off on until I knew them really well.
asking about ancestry is a good way. I’ve been asked during the first conversation and it hasn’t bothered me. It helped that it was a deep conversation and the topic was somewhat relevant. It makes all the difference if someone is trying to get to know you. I understand I look ethnically ambiguous and if I were trying to get to know me I’d be curious too.
As a full Asian, asking “What’s your ethnic background?” is far better than “where are you from?”
It’s so fucking annoying when people ask me “where are you from?” Because I’ll answer “Oh, I live just a few miles away.” And then they go, “no, I mean where are you really from?” And then I’ll answer, “I’m from a few miles away you fucking racist.”
Btw, at a funeral I got this line of questioning one too many times and actually said that.
It’s also contextual. Asking this after a few beers and some light conversation, asking about my background is cool. But it being the first or second question makes it weird.
Thanks for asking FlyingSquid.
I’ve gotten “dude, what the fuck are you?!” you before, which I thought was a hilarious way to breach the subject.
I’m tall, had very long (black) hair at the time and had a dark tan. I could pass as part native, black, Hispanic, Asian, pretty much anything.
It was a fair question.
“Oh, I live just a few miles away.” And then they go, “no, I mean where are you really from?” And then I’ll answer, “I’m from a few miles away you fucking racist.”
Amen to that! As your South Asian brother I feel exactly the same, and do the same, just without the cursing.
So, @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world, if you ask me where I’m from, accept the first answer. If you want to know my ethnicity, you can ask that. Or you can just take your time getting to know me and I might share how I identify ethnically on my own when it makes sense in our relationship.
Just to clarify, I would not ask a mixed race person with an American accent where they were from unless it was pretty obvious I literally wanted to know where in the U.S. they were from (as in Alabama vs. North Dakota). It was more about whether or not asking about family history was a sensitive subject.
Assuming the context is appropriate I think an acceptable way to ask is “what’s your heritage” - imo the important thing is not to sound like you’re assuming they’re a foreigner just because their ethnicity / appearance. I think asking about someone’s family story or where their family is from is also a good way to ask because it’s clear you’re asking about their family and not assuming that it has bearing on the person’s upbringing.
It also can be really confusing when you’re a mixed and natural born citizen and you have no idea if “where are you from” is just smalltalk and they want to know where you grew up or if they’re assuming based on your appearance that you immigrated and assuming that the answers to “where did you grow up” and “where are your ancestors from” are 1 and the same. So personally I like when people are more specific because when asked where I’m from I’m just going to ask if they mean where I grew up or where my parents are from.
I would definitely make it clear I was asking about their family history, not them personally. I told the other person who replied that the only two times I could envision asking someone where they were from were if they had an unusual accent or if I found out we were both from the same state. I just didn’t know if it would be touching upon a sensitive topic that they get asked about way too much and it’s just not something that should be broached until you know someone pretty well.
Gotcha in that case it sounds like you probably don’t have anything to worry about. People who are weird about asking where people are from without any nuance don’t seem to put that much thought into it and whether it sounds like they’re assuming immigrant status based on appearance (which is where wording can be important).
i can’t speak for all multiracial people (or anyone else for that matter). but personally any question that doesn’t pretend to be something other than it is is fine. if the thing you want to know is someone’s ancestry or ethnic background, then don’t ask “where are you from.” that’s all.
also, still not speaking for anyone else, but i’ve gotten pretty numb to people being racist towards me, because i decided that if someone’s going to judge people by their race (or anything else they didn’t choose for themself), then there’s no reason to care what they think anyway. though i will mock and ridicule racists for the sake of others who experience suffering from racism. especially kids.
So, from your answer the question “Are you from around here?” would be fine or would it sound to close to “where are you from?” ? I’ve had similar thoughts about ancestry as to @FlyingSquid, but don’t ask. Usually best not to ask if there is a high chance of offending someone.
Honestly don’t like terms like “black-Americans”, "asian-Americans or “mexican-Americans”. I rarely here “white-Americans”, they are just Americans. Feels like a way to segregate verbally.
again speaking only for myself, both “where are you from” and “are you from around here” are similar in that they’re not “bad” in and of themselves, unless you’re looking for an answer that those questions aren’t asking for. the thing that’s irksome is not people wanting to know “what kind of asian” i am, but saying “where are you from” with the assumption that the answer will be some asian country (“obviously you’re not american” is the implication). just say “what’s your family’s background” or something similar.
also pro tip, it’s not the case for me, but some people get mad when someone assumes “what kind of asian” they are. my dad, who’s full japanese, hates it when people just assume he’s chinese or korean or anything else. i’m glad i didn’t inherit whatever that’s all about
Thanks for the answer, and I’m sorry you’ve become numb to the racism. It sucks that there’s even a reason to feel a need to be.
Really, the only two times I could imagine asking someone where they were from no matter what they looked like is if they had an especially weird accent, and I would probably precede it with, “you have an interesting accent,” or if I found out we were both from the same state, so I’d be asking them where in the state. Otherwise, it’s kind of a stupid question to ask of anyone most of the time, at least in the U.S., even if you aren’t trying to be a bigot.
things are getting better though–unlike the kids around me when i was a kid, i see the younger generations today being much more accepting and welcoming of different races, gender identities, sexual orientations, etc., because the racist white supremacist greatest fear is actually coming true: the country is becoming more and more diverse, more inclusive, and more equitable. and they want to stop it at all costs. that’s why we’re having to waste time arguing about DEI and CRT and gay books in the library and yes, kamala IS black, and yes, kamala IS indian–gasp at the same. time.
i dont’ see the numbness i feel for myself as a bad thing; it keeps me sane. and i still feel pain for other people who are victims of racism. not everyone is at a point where they can acknowledge these emotions and then let them pass away as they arise. so i will still speak out and condemn racism at every opportunity
