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53 points

This needs to be the plot of a new “The Wizard” remake.

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23 points

Five young recruits find the five golden Switch cartridges.

Recruit 1 is walloped by a big tie-wearing gorilla after eating its entire banana hoard.

Recruit 2 grows too big after eating a prototype actual Super Mushroom and turns into a Toad.

Recruit 3 is rejected after touching the Triforce and being sucked into the Evil Realm.

Recruit 4 loses an IRL series of WarioWare games played in a giant replica TV.

Recruit 5 is hired after returning the free Switch 2 prototype they were given despite initially being rejected for painting graffiti on the wall with Splatoon paint.

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15 points

I’m already on AMCs website, trying to preorder my ticket, and emailing customer service about why they haven’t started accepting preorders to a movie that hasn’t even been conceptualized yet.

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7 points

You have to buy amiibos to have a chance of finding one. Everybody knows that.

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