A lot of people are saying they’re banging each other
Are people still talking about JD Vance having sex with a couch? We need to put to bed the idea of JD Vance having sex with a couch. It’s not appropriate for people to think of Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance having sex with a couch. JD Vance has gone on record to deny that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within the last 5 years. It’s absurd that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after making sweet, passionate love to a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.
Once again, there is no evidence of JD Vance having sex with a couch. You need to stop calling JD Vance a couchfucker.
Look, I don’t know if JD Vance had sex with a couch. I don’t even know if JD Vance had sex with couch cushions. But yes, I’ve heard that JD Vance did not WRITE that he had sex with a couch in his book. I don’t know if JD Vance wrote he had sex with a couch somewhere else, though.
John Oliver called Vance’s staff to ask and they hung up on Oliver, which was reported as ‘not a “no”’, so I had been thinking, ‘ya know? maybe that JD Vance guy really is a couchfucker, who knows?’ But here you’re saying he’s denied it? Or partially denied it? Well I don’t know what to think now, but I guess it is safer to presume JD Vance having sex with a couch is probably more legend than fact. Certainly, JD Vance having sex with a couch isn’t something you’d want to discuss in polite society or political debate because we’ve no proof and a possible denial.
I promise I’ll never say that jd vance violated a couch in a fit of reckless lust ever again.
Not just a couch, probably some weird sectional with a chaise on one side and maybe a recliner on the other meant for a more “cinematic” experience.