It’s such a touchy subject because feminism definitely came about as a response to toxic masculine behaviors that have been around and are still with us. And while capitalism/toxic masculinity is to blame for most of men’s mental health problems, at the same time, I think there’s still been something of an overreach with feminism and there’s actually some aspects of Western life where women are at a definite advantage, namely in the Court systems when dealing with divorce and custody issues. Men and women in these spaces are not treated equally and it’s just accepted as “That’s how it is,” because we’re ok with going off of outdated ideas in that space.
Having said all that, I still don’t think it’s fair to blame feminism for men’s mental health issues, it’s more just a societal thing that men in general are really considered expendable and left to fend for themselves on most of their problems. While I think it’s gotten better over the years and it’s more acceptable to at least talk about some things, there’s still just a general apathetic attitude towards men’s mental health issues. Men/Fathers will often be relied on by everybody else in the family for all sorts of things, but who does Dad have to turn to when he has problems? Mothers are often placed on a pedestal, and that’s great for them, fathers though are just kind of… “Oh, it’s you.”
I agree with you fully. I am a feminist, and I absolutely agree that certain portions of our community has been co-opted by toxicity.
Yes, it sucks to be a woman, especially if you live in a region where you’ve lost access to your bodily autonomy, because that is the barest of basics for rights. It sucks getting paid less. It sucks having to maintain a job, maintain the household, be the responsible parent for getting kids to/from school/practice/clubs, etc. It sucks being the spouse that’s EXPECTED to stay home and forgo their career/dreams if a dual income household doesn’t make sense (childcare costs eat up a spousal income). It sucks being the sex that is more likely to end up abused/murdered/raped.
I hear all that. But I do believe that mainstream feminism has DEFINITELY crossed the lines in certain aspects.
I don’t think it’s necessary to jump all over a man’s comment when he says “I’ve never beat a spouse/I help out around the house” and reply with silly things like “nOt AlL mEn” and shit like that. It makes people feel unheard and undervalued. And if people feel unheard/undervalued, they are going to gravitate to where they do feel valued and heard.
That’s how we end up with manosphere bullshit saying things like “A woman’s pleasure isn’t necessary, but a man can’t think straight without it. It’s her role to keep you satisfied and fuck anyone else who says otherwise.”
“Looksmaxxing” is something that I’m also REALLY fearful of our younger male generations getting into, because it stems from “You wanna get laid? You gotta be hot or a woman will NEVER choose you. This is how you get hot.” And then it leads young men to picking themselves (and each other) apart physically to a really harmful level.
Ughhhh, I know I’m saying a lot here, but it’s because I do believe that certain traits of current day radical feminism are driving more and more youth to the Andrew Tates of the world, and that makes me terrified for our younger girls growing up alongside them, and how they’re going to be treated.
Women couldn’t get their own bank accounts in the US until 1970, radical feminism was necessary. But today, we have to make sure men feel comfortable talking to us/being supported by us/delving into their hopes and dreams without being like “Okay but it’s worse to be a lady”.
We have to support each other.
