We actually live in Germany, which is why i don‘t feel like there is a need for self medication. We have free health care. He can get those medications for 5 euros from the pharmacy with a prescription from his mom who is a doctor, so a psychiatrist wouldn‘t even be necessary (imo still necessary but but he has easier access to it without finding a psychiatrist). I understand that it can help and he probably thought it was a way out for him but his circumstances really make it harder for me to grasp.

he doesn‘t think therapy will help him, self medicates with anti depressants and like u said, if he is depressed, does not think so himself.

of course i asked him. Whenever we have these conversations, it‘s always about why he is like this all of a sudden. He tells me that he does not have a reason and is just not in the right headspace. I probably have asked him 15 times by now. When we met, he already struggled with his mental health and he himself told me that he feels better than ever, since he started working part time.

About the thing i said: I understand that that was wrong and like i said, i should not have said that but after telling him so so many times what i need and what i want, he should at least attempt to spend time with me, especially when i MAKE TIME to talk to him. Today was like the only opportunity to watch something, since he’ll start working tomorrow and more relatives r arriving and i won‘t have any alone time at all anymore. He knows all of this. The expectation to not ask for absolutely EVERYTHING when i told him more than 15 times in the past 3 weeks, is not unrealistic either. You communicate to know what you‘re doing wrong and change it to the best of your abilities if u want to. I expect the same i do for him back.

Oh i could have worded that a little differently. I don‘t oppose the use of prescription medication at all. My boyfriend had told me that people micro dose lsd and mushrooms for medical reasons and it helps with anxiety and depression, so i said that that‘s okay. Prescription medication is not an issue at all, self medicating with lsd and mushrooms kinda is to me but i understand how it might help some people.

no changes at all. He does the same things he always does, he looks the same and he wears the same things. To me it seems like he is doing better, he himself said that too like 1-2 months ago.

i understand that but he does not want space. He still wants to meet up and have sex. I don‘t double text, i know he is busy. He has space, we text maybe 1-2 a day atp. I don‘t know if i was able to make it clear enough in my post.