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Yeah, but how do I know that what you just wrote isn’t another conspiracy theory? I’m just so confused

I got hooked on that no shipping and Amazon Video for a short while, but I haven’t missed ordering from then in the last 8 or so months since I cancelled. As far as missing the video, yarr, avast ye hearties!

I wish that I had Chesse’s girl

That’s what this cis dad is called. Or at least this is how all sentences start in this house.

Oh, I know.

“It takes more than that to kill a bull moose,” the wounded candidate assured them. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a bullet-riddled, 50-page speech. Holding up his prepared remarks, which had two big holes blown through each page, Roosevelt continued. “Fortunately I had my manuscript, so you see I was going to make a long speech, and there is a bullet—there is where the bullet went through—and it probably saved me from it going into my heart. The bullet is in me now, so I cannot make a very long speech, but I will try my best.”

To paraphrase Office Space:

Let me ask you something. Where you work, does anyone ever tell you to “think different?”

No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you’d get your ass kicked sayin’ something like that, man.

Shirt

Remove the water from the bottom of the ocean