Wisely
Even if they were amazing, it would still be worth using Firefox instead to suppport an alternative to chromium.
I am middle aged but I know what you mean. As I got older I realized that I was creating the suffering.
Not fitting in can become a story that plays in your head. If you pay attention most the people around you don’t notice this or don’t care. For all you know they may feel they don’t fit in themselves either.
Even if it was true, would it really matter? I found that I was striving to meet societal expectations that weren’t things I even valued. Could it be that you feel left out because you feel pressured to meet these expectations but are just going through the motions?
Besides those typical reasons being an ausländer is going to be difficult regardless. Especially if you have autism. Maybe there just aren’t many people around that have your lived experience. That’s ok it’s a good time to meet different types of people. When you get back home you have the rest of your life to meet people you have more in common with.
Just wanted to say that I find your background really interesting. I live in the US and my older relatives came from Deutschland. They have all died by now, but I have lots of memories of the language. I have been attempting to learn the language now as an adult by myself.
I have never met anyone else in the United States who had any German family history or interest in the language. Curious which area you live in? Do you have other German speakers in your area?
Also same about not being able to maintain friendships. Maybe it’s just normal cycling as time passes and you both change. I also wonder if it’s because I have never met anyone that I could relate to or discuss my interests with. It may be that I am a low maintenance friend as well, you can contact me whenever, but some people get upset if you aren’t in nearly daily conversation.