GeeDubHayduke
“He’s not going to hurt the poor. He’s too smart for that.”
Oh, you infuriating fucking summer child. It’d be hilarious if I wasn’t stuck in this hellbound handbasket with the rest of you fucking mongoloids.
“Because you have to wonder: how do the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take chicken, for example: maybe they couldn’t figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything.”
I used to work in a pizza place, and the head cook was from Mexico working on his citizenship. He helped me with my Spanish, and I’d help him with his English. One day, we discovered that jokes was a good way to discover any loss in translations, so jokes became our preferred method of conversation.
One day he said he’s got a great joke, but he’s not sure if it’ll work in English, so he’s asks to tell me if it works. I tell him to hit me. The joke:
A guy and his girlfriend have been together long enough to move in with each other. Being a new(ish) couple, they’re still pretty frisky. Every time they’re finished and basking in the after glow, she plays with his junk, just gently kneading the balls in their sack. After a few months, he asks her why does she always play with his balls afterwards. She looks him dead in the eye with a Mona Lisa smile, gently kisses his lips and whispers in his ear “because i miss mine.”
He asked if the joke works in English. When i quit laughing, i said it does. That was 2006, and it’s still one of my favorite jokes to this day.
Had someone pull a shotgun at a house party once. I called 911. They wanted to know which manufacturer of shotgun before they’d dispatch a car, and finally showed up 13 hours later.
Such an expansive feeling of freedom and protection! They truly are heros! Like a meatball sub.
ETA: if only they’d thought to call the cops at Uvalde.
Full-on mask off, now. Owner class protecting owner class, nothing to see here. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along.
This made me far more angry than your frying pan, just gotta say.
“Today’s show is brought to you by the number 8, because that’s the age of kids he likes, dude.”
Hey Luxembourg, you broke it, you bought it! She’s YOUR fucking problem now! AHAHAHA!
scene
No? Still in this timeline? …fuck.