I wish I had a way of letting mine out more frequently haha

I mean, I could understand liberal tears. Liberal blood. Liberal sweat, at a stretch. But liberal cum? That just sounds like you’re offering to blow Joe Biden.

Can I know what that religion is?

We all know the answer to this. Alfred keeps a large supply of BatCoke for him in the Bat Cave

🎶I got a brand new pair of roller skates you got skint you knees, let’s get to together and touch together our peepees🎶

I thought so! When I saw this my first thought was “wait, isn’t that the one I used to use several years ago?”

Yeah, it is. Ended up not being compatible on a new phone is why I switched, I think…forgot about it after.

Your brain is a confusingly, terrifying, beautiful place and I’m glad you just give out front row access like this.

If someone is cleaning a floor and I have to walk over it, they’re getting several sorrys and at least 2 thank yous, while I do that shrink my body to the side and putting my palms out towards them like a peasant not trying to be whipped by a landed gentry.

I’ve mopped professionally. It sucks.

I can’t find a source right now, because I just woke up and I don’t want to, so (Trust Me Bro, et al, 2024) but there’s a chance that quote is actually about Nazis!

A lot of French people referred to them as “the others” and would often speak sort of semi-codedly about them in writing and such so as not to piss off their new overlords. So that line may well not have been “I’m such an introvert that being around other humans is like being in hell” but instead “hell has delivered itself to my doorstep in the form of goose-stepping bastards”

I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.

!so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.

Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<