Well, said at least - this story’s almost a decade old.

You’ve had a good definition, but Wikipedia has (a lot) more info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kayfabe

That’s a hilarious solution.

I’m surprised that this is a genuine answer, I was expecting something else with a product name like that.

Wired headphones are great, and my mouse has a cable too. I might be a dinosaur.

I can see it from the three medium/small instances I just tried.

Also, is typigraphy a typo (typi?) or its own thing?

This is definitely the common one, even if it is a bit wordier than some others suggested here.

No idea what the downvotes are about.

It took me way too long to remember about tails.

The quote’s a famous monologue from Hamlet.

About that speech

I think that because you’re attributing those views to “the citizenry”. I can only go on the words you’ve used, and you’ve used a word that describes the whole country’s population, not a small minority.