You’ll notice that I do call them “saddles,” not “seats.” There is a reason for this. A seat is something you sit on, and is designed to bear essentially your entire weight. Recumbent bicycles have seats, but conventional upright bicycles have saddles. A saddle is intended to carry some, but not all of your weight. The rest of your weight is mainly carried by your legs, and some by your hands and arms.
Go to a bike shop that has a device or some way of measuring your sit bones (ie. the distance between them.) They’re the two hard bits that should be contacting your saddle when you ride. The shop I went to had this bench with a gel layer so you could see where your sit bones were pressing down.
I used to think all saddles were uncomfortable until I realized I have a relatively wide distance between my sit bones. I bought a proper saddle for my ass and now I’m comfy all the time.
Recumbent bikes solve this issue, and they’re also way more aerodynamic. Downside is that they aren’t as good from a safety perspective (on an empty road they’d probably be more safe, but alas).
They’re heavier, which makes climbing harder, but with the right gearing, it shouldn’t be too bad (just slower).
If your bike saddle hurts, you probably have a bad fit and possibly a shitty saddle. Brooks is a good brand, B17 is a popular and comfortable choice. You can also get padded shorts and whatnot, but I never bothered using them.
You’ll also want to keep in mind that it’ll take some time to condition yourself to bike riding, it gets easier and more comfortable the more you ride. Eventually you can end up covering way more distance thank you thought you could and it will seem like nothing compared to what you were previously capable of.
Shameless plug: !micromobility@lemmy.world
You can also get padded shorts and whatnot, but I never bothered using them.
And now we know why you fart with an accent.
Eh, could be worse.