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Only the bad cat owners. The good ones can predict when there’s mischief in their eye.

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Bruh I was dead asleep when I had my toes attacked by one cat and my face attacked by the other.

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Your own fault for having a face and toes and dangling both in front of feral killers. Also, they wanted food and you chose to selfishly indulge in resting your body while your superiors literally fought starvation with their last bit of strength left. I also assume the bottom of the feeding bowl was visible, you monster! You probably deserve everything you got.

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Man we had cats since i was a baby. Mostly the cats have been chill af. We had one cat that was a little bit more agressiv but never without giving “fuck off and leave me alone” signs. Did i get some scratches? Maybe like once a year. Some years ago however, i dated a girl with a kitten and i tell you, that little shit was the devil himself. The girl had scratchmarks all over her arms, looking like a victim of self mutilation. Also the beast literally ran towards you, trying to scratch you, as soon as you dared to make eye contact. Thinking about it i am glad that the girl canned me after a while. That cat scared me.

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