So I know that despite the classic portrayal of an autist being someone who is asexual, many of us are at the opposite end of the scale. Yet if you search for Lemmy communities, there are several for asexual folk and none for hypersexual folk. Is there any good resources for us to rant/support each other/talk about our struggles? If it were specifically for neurodivergent folk, that would be a great bonus.
You can find people who can relate in the !bipolardisorder@lemmy.world community because hypersexuality is one of the common symptoms of mania/hypomania. I don’t think we have any specific resources though. You are more than welcome to post there without having bipolar!
I’m a sex addict Aspie.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard that Aspies or Autists are asexual. My experience has been that Aspies are very sexual since we don’t have the normal social controls that normies do. I, a mid-50s man, was working a booth at AtlSecCon a couple of years ago and a young woman student walked up and started asking questions. I answered them and at some point the fact that I was an Aspie came up. She said, “I am too! What kind of Aspie are you?” I said that I was a sexy engineer Aspie. She replied that she was a sexy creative Aspie and asked me what I was doing later. The girl was probably 19. I told her that I was having dinner with my account executive and meeting an old friend.
I’ve also found that explaining what my being an Aspie means to normies makes things easier. Every now and then you run into one who understands and decides to take advantage of the opportunity which is awesome.
I don’t know of any resources, and it’s definitely something I feel like I can’t talk about. You aren’t alone!
Because you aren’t hypersexual or because it’s taboo? Your name suggests you’re pretty spicy 😜
:P It’s a little of both - I’ve cooled off a lot now in my late 30s, but I had a very hard time as a child and into my teenage years. It’s the events from back then, and the choices I made during that time that I carry a lot of shame about.
Hey! There’s two of us!
I don’t have a lot of shame though. I’ve come to peace with it. I have a condition that doctors absolutely refused to treat, and I had to self-medicate.
If I had been allowed a real education instead of fucking abstinence only crap, I wouldn’t have been sobbing into my pillows at night because I was burning alive and didn’t know what to do. And then I wouldn’t have seized so hard on what I thought was the answer!
The decisions we made were the best we could with what we had. I wouldn’t hold any judgement for someone else who did the things I did, only sympathy, and I don’t want to be a hypocrite so I treat myself with sympathy, too.
By hypersexual, do you mean people who have/desire lots of sex, or people who are fixated on sex and related subjects as a topic of interest?
For me, it’s more of the latter. Unfortunately there’s no help out there I’ve been able to find. Best advice I have is to find the least unhealthy ways to satisfy those feelings and keep them pointed in that direction. In my case, that’s been picking up art as a hobby and using it to illustrate weird kinky shit, and finding a select few people to share it with.
I’ve also found the modern social landscape, both online and irl, to be weirdly regressive on sexual topics. I’m not going around flying that flag per se, there’s a time and a place, but people having weird kinks is a common topic of public ridicule.
In my case at least, an unmanageable sex drive. As in if I could spend all day every day having sex, I would only stop to replenish my electrolytes or pass out from exhaustion.
Yeah, that’s definitely different from my experience, mine’s more of a “get obsessed with a specific kink and see how far down the rabbit hole for it can go, rinse+repeat” thing. My actual sex life is pretty mundane, I have a stable relationship and we get it on a couple times a week, work schedules permitting.
Maybe it would help to involve other people if you can find them and your SO is open to it, although talking about sexual topics is pretty different from engaging in sexual acts. Mine isn’t really into the same stuff I am from a fantasy perspective, so I have some specific friends that I go to for those topics.
Unicorns are hard to come by, but she has mentioned it a few times. Difficulty with that is it’s hard to schedule a 4 hour depravity session around the constraints of having a full time job and also more than the average number of children (yes it turns out there are consequences).
I think I might be one of them. Aside from other good points with the other comments, yeah the struggle is real. My sexuality has toned down a bit as time passes but it’s still a pretty big thorn on my side where sex constantly trying to take front and center occupation of my mind. I just wanna live my life lol.
I don’t see why you can’t rant here
Mine goes up and down depending on my mood generally but I generally want to have sex 2-8 times a day. My fiance is happy to reciprocate pretty much every evening, but she’s not always there. I also have to go to work, where the majority of my colleagues are women, and my kids daycare where one of the teachers has really wide hips and a big ass, Jesus Christ she’s hot, I swear I literally fucking drooled last time I saw her. Or the fucking supermarket where the cashier constantly gives me suggestive looks
Constant feelings of sexual frustration.