Just a sampling. Almost the whole feed was here’s a broken water main, I need a free housecleaner or CNA, here’s my lawn mowing service, and then these types of posts…
WHY ARE THERE POLICE AT [nearby intersection]
DOES ANYONE RECOGNIZE THIS [black dude literally just walking on the sidewalk]
DOES ANYONE WANT A [23 year old cat]
My feed is 60% lost dogs and cats (it boggles my mind how many) 20% “my package is lost but here is a shitty picture of the porch it was delivered too” 10% is Karen’s bitching about nothing and the last 10% people who don’t know how to Google something.
Utter insanity…
An S10 with a clean title? It’s a good thing they only want the comically impossible.
No money is owed to a bank for it, not stolen, etc. basically that it is legally and rightfully owned by the seller.
ISO 9002, I know what I’ve got.
I profoundly hate nextdoor. I think I would have to live in a Richard Scarry book to be able to browse it without contemplating arson.
Nextdoor posts be like:
“GUYS GUYS SOMEBODY WAS ON MY RING CAMERA AND I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE THEM OMG THEY CLAIMED THEY WERE SELLING COOKIES BUT IDK PROBABLY A SETUP.”
John S: “Get a gun.”
Rambo Smith: “They’ll feel real brave when I show em Smith & Wesson, those ar my 2 dobermans…and muh gun.”
Beverly Josephine: “Get a dog you won’t love just for security like I did. And a gun.”
Jimmithy Crackenbaum: “Biden’s amerca and tey lbral ajenda I tell everyone all teh tim but this is Kalikommunistafornya’s fault, vote for the screaming orange cheeto, peepl!!”
Post from Jill Goobersnacker: “TO THE PERSON WHO MOVED MY TRASH CAN. WHY?!?!”
Bob Sminkers: “Get a gun.”
Jane Gumdapper: “Probably a homeless? Driving down property values smh.”
Billy Wonkers: “Jane Gumdapper that’s not very nice they’re people too.”
Jane Gumdapper: “Billy Wonkers YOU INVITE THEM IN YOUR HOUSE THEN!!”
Jimmithy Crackenbaum: “Back in my day people didn’t steal trahcans in Texas we just shot em but liberals are liberalling america with liberalness an i can’t just shoot people the youth of this generation im so lonely maga.”
In my neck of the woods we also get these classics:
Post from Jennifer DiGiacomo Cacciatore, CRS ABR SFR: “GUNSHOTS LAST NIGHT???”
“Last night I heard GUNSHOTS!!! Who else heard GUNSHOTS!!! I can’t believe someone would be commiting such acts of violence within a day of (the Fourth of July / Memorial Day / Veterans Day / New Year’s)!!! It sounded like several loud booming sounds, each accompanied by red flashes, followed by a sizzle. Is that some kind of tactical assault gun???”
Karyn Seitzier: I HEARD IT TOO IT WAS COMING FROM THE DIRECTION OF THE BASEBALL STADIUM AND IT WENT ON FOR 10 MINUTES!
Bob Hidalgo: order corn order corn siri siri siri stop go back about siri
Benny Tungus: Tactical assault gun??? Have you been getting the OTHER kind of lead exposure?
148 replies that begin as a slap fight between pro-gun and anti-gun Nextdoor users about semantics, and devolves into a much more vicious slap fight between gun nerds about the efficacy of bullpups
Monica Badlothian: It was actually fireworks. Which should be BANNED! My incredibly inbred Toy Schnauzadoodler got scared and spewed bloody diarrhea all over my new Ethan Allen couch! And GOOD LUCK getting my kid back to SLEEP when he woke up SCARED, I can barely stand to be around the little piece of shit ever since he have me varicose veins and my husband works third shift so I had to deal with it! I don’t see ANY need to have fireworks, fireworks shows, concerts, or live music at bars!
20 replies from other cranks that want fireworks shows banned, culminating in people complaining that the cheap house they bought in the flight path of an airport has too many planes flying overhead
Post from Andre Garcia: “Young male thug casing neighborhood???”
“Two days now I have seen a young male between 5’8” and 6’4" walking down MY street, dressed like a thug in a HOODED sweatshirt, red shorts, and JORDANS! I couldn’t see his face but I could see from his ashy legs that he is one of those. What business would he have bringing his negroid behaviors here? I live in this neighborhood because I can pass, nobody’s mentioned ICE to me in years. Has anyone else seen this criminal?? We need to get him locked up!!"
Mark Hofsteder: CANT DO WHT WE USE 2 N E MORE… TAKE HIM TO SWING FROM A TREE LIKE HIS COUSINS… MAYB COULD FIRE SOME WORNING SHOTS?? -MARK
2 replies, one of which is just Mark trying to google roto-tillers
Timothy Higginbotham: What the hell is wrong with you? He’s minding his own business, mind yours. Being black in a white neighborhood isn’t a crime.
17 replies, of which 5 or 6 agree with Timothy and the remainder are just hand-wringing about property values and crime and blowing every dog whistle in the drawer
Mary Garcia: SHUT UP MEXICAN!!! UR GOING TO GO BACK!!!
Mark Hofsteder: WHOSE MEXICAN ‘MARIA’?? -MARK
