Speaking as a middle aged cishet white dude who only knows some basic HTML:
I help fill the quota of transfems with thinkpads at tech parties :3
Heaven forbid someone be attracted to a member of a different race.
That’s okay, but when it’s quite clearly fetishization, it’s shallow and dehumanizing.
How does one tell the difference between someone who’s legitimately more attracted versus someone fetishizing them?
Fetishization is a form of objectification. When you stop seeing a human as a person and just as an object for your own attraction and lust, you’re fetishizing them.
I’m trying to answer honestly and I don’t know how to explain this through the internet. You’re not the only person whose asked this. And Ive explained this to a personal friend (who is white) why his comments weren’t flirting, but really creepy. So I hope this provide some clarity.
There’s just cues that the person drops that are clear indicators that the person is a asiaphile at the creepiest level.
I work in tech, I’m a POC, I have lots of friends and family who are also POC, and we share things. We’ve all had some experience where we’re in a room and some creepy (can be male or female) person just hits those notes. Where they see me, and rather talk about me as a person, go straight into my skin color, family background, ethnicity, how I look like thirst-trap person that they jerk off too, etc.
Is it bad to be someone’s fetish? Depends on how lonely/horny you are. Often, it’s creepy. Because they don’t see you as a person but rather as a object. That’s just me. Maybe both parties like being each other’s fetish - mutual fetishism. I dunno.
Maybe Ask your friend group/circle of people. Like when you ask women if they can spot a creep, and they point out very specific elements that separately, are meaningless. But when the creep hits all those targets, it’s a sign to leave the room.
Also, it depends on a lot of things. Your party of the world might have different takes on what is creepy fetishism. And as an American, I can’t speak for that side of things.
How does one tell the difference between someone who’s legitimately more attracted versus someone fetishizing them?
Oh you didn’t know? NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ decides and will be sure to let you know.
Edit: It’s true! It’s on page 6 of the Book of Blowhard, 16th edition.
As a white guy in tech, yes.
The first time I heard about yellow fever I was really confused what a commonly Central American illness had to do with dating.
Partly because I’ve literally never seen a yellow Asian.
I have seen a yellow Hispanic though. They had jaundice.
