Hi,
I’m a second-year PhD student in mathematics at a large university in the US. I really like the research group that I’ll be working with; my advisor is great. The issue is, we have strict requirements for quals, and I’m teetering right on the edge of being forced out of the program. I have two more attempts, but afterwards, that’s it. And I’m also really bad at the whole test-taking thing, so I don’t like my odds.
So, as a young person with an MS in mathematics, what exactly would the options be for me outside of academia? If I flunk out, I want to have some idea in mind for what I can do. My interests in math have always tended towards the more abstract (functional analysis and dynamical systems); it’s the quals in either PDEs or numerical analysis (the applied subjects) that are messing me up.
My PhD is stressful and anxiety-inducing, but at least it gives me purpose and direction in life. This time last year after I failed first year PDEs I wound up in a psychiatric ward. So, I want to know what possible options there are so that I don’t end up in the same situation. I have issues with a lot of the “standard” options for industry mathematicians though:
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I utterly despise programming. I can not think of a more miserable, dreary existence than becoming a professional programmer, or working in the tech industry and having to code regularly. I know how to do it. I’m doing as much as I need to to study numerical analysis to get that qual over with so I can go on to things in math that I want to do; and in undergrad I double majored in math and CS. But I just can’t do it 8 hours a day every day for the rest of my life, and this is a lot of what people recommend.
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I don’t want to work in one of those white-collar banking stock brokering environments. From undergrad I know the sorts of people that those places are filled with, and they are not really people that I’ve ever been able to get along with. Even teaching “math for business majors” my students made me feel uncomfortable at times. (Plus, there are people with specialized degrees in these fields who would be better for them; plus, again, those jobs seem to be coding and solving PDEs). In particular I’ve been personally fucked over by the insurance industry enough that I will never work there.
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I could try to go into teaching I suppose. I’ve quite enjoyed it, and I get good reviews. But, aside from my TA duties here, I have no formal qualifications. My understanding is that most places require an advanced degree specific to teaching in order to be a teacher, and I don’t think I can put myself through more years of graduate school coursework just to go for my consolation-prize career.
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I can’t easily fall back on my family for support. We are not on speaking terms.
It’s an absolute long-shot, but are there any careers that feel like the research part of grad school, but without the stuff that’s miserable about it (the coursework and bureaucracy)? Money is not an issue for me at all. If I can get over the hurdle of early-on coursework and quals, I will live a far more fulfilling life in grad school making 19k/year than I would as a wall-street tech CEO investor. But that’s far from a guarantee at this point, and I just don’t even know where to begin looking for any jobs at all I would want to do outside of academia.
Do you want fries with that?
Give programming a shot. And I mean real programming, not the abomination you mathematicians and physicists call “programming”.
Chances are that you will like programming, you just have to actually learn it. And if you won’t, at least you know for sure.
I took seven computer science courses as an undergraduate, including three that were programming courses designed for people who would go on to be professional programmers (intro, intermediate, advanced programming). I also took other CS courses that included programming components. Every single task that was just, “please program tetris” or something of that sort, I loathed every second of it.
I will not like programming.
Start bulking up by eating well, solid exercise routine, a bit of help from anabolic steroids. Pose with a formula-filled blackboard background shirtless while flexing your biceps for Instagram and Twitter. Become the math bodybuilding icon. Make jokes like “my muscles are not differentially equal to yours”. You should build an audience, and after that you’ll be able to expand into sponsorships, and OnlyFans. You can also do IRL prostitution, and earn thousands of $ per night. The key is to target either old hags, or rich homosexuals.
Good luck. Let your biceps look like the bell curve of a Gaussian distribution
Real talk, programming is your best bet. Companies don’t hire “smart” people anymore in the hopes they can teach them to do the job, so the math background doesn’t really put you ahead of someone with specific training.
If you hate programming though, I would pop back into undergrad and get a second bachelors in Accounting (you should be able to skip all the gen ed reqs). You could prob do it in 3-4 semesters.
are you good with digital signal processing? every radar manufacturer needs this
In undergrad I did a project on harmonic analysis and wavelets, with some attention having been paid to the signal processing applications. (And by that I mean I learned enough to say ‘this has applications in the fields of signal processing and image compression’ in the abstract). But at this point it’s years ago and I don’t remember too much.
